


Missing Pieces

by quiffedphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Broken Bones, Comforting Phil, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Description of Injuries, Domestic Phan, Explicit Language, Friends to Lovers, Friendship to Love, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Dan, M/M, Mutual Pining, Phan Fluff, Phanfiction, Slow Burn, hurt Dan, it is dan guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-08-31 23:39:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 43,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8598319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiffedphil/pseuds/quiffedphil
Summary: *nominated for best AO3 fic Phanfic Awards 2016*
When an accident occurs in the middle of filming a new video for the gaming channel, Dan finds himself becoming more reliant on Phil than he was comfortable with. Unfortunately, Dan needs the help and can't push Phil away, but he can feel the situation beginning to dredge up feelings that Dan had pushed away years ago and buried deep within himself.





	1. Not Such A Great Idea

**Author's Note:**

> Dan and Phil are their own people, this is merely a work of fiction. 
> 
> tumblr: existentialcatwhiskers

There was definitely something mildly therapeutic about filming a series for the gaming channel, especially once the first video had already been uploaded, at least that was what Dan thought.

Once the first part of the video was up and you knew what the audience thought, it was easy, if they enjoyed the video then a continuation was entirely possible and would probably also be well perceived, however if there was a mixed opinion then perhaps it would be best to make the video a one off.

As Dan began to clear the floor of the office, he was feeling pretty confident that his and Phil's viewers would find this video hilarious, and they hadn't even started filming it yet.

Still, the first time they had taped their legs together in order to attempt to play DDR their viewers had exploded, it was a massive success, even if it was one of the more painful experiences Dan had gone through in order to film a video, but Dan pushed that aside. He didn't care about the pain of having Phil stepping on his toes constantly because in the end they'd had so much fun, and he had also stood on Phil's toes more than enough times.

"You ready?" Phil called out as he dragged a camera and tripod up the stairs to the office, Dan heard a loud thump as something hit the wall and scraped its way up and then he winced as he thought about the dent that was most likely in the wall. They were definitely never going to get their deposit back for the flat.

"Just about." Dan replied, as he shoved the two chairs away from the desk and towards the wall as much as he could, there was less chance of injury if there was nothing to hit on the way to the floor.

"I brought scissors this time." Phil said and placed an incredibly sharp looking pair of scissors on the desk by the Duct Tape that Dan had bought. "It'll save you from nearly snapping yourself in half on camera."

"Good thinking." Dan said with a small laugh, he remembered trying to bite the tape all too well, what the viewers weren't aware of was how long it had taken him to bite the tape and he intense cramp that he had gotten as a result.

"Right, are you ready to do this?" Phil asked as he finished setting up the camera, making sure that they would be in frame when it was time for them to start jumping around.

Dan nodded as Phil pressed the record button and moved into position on his right hand side. It was time.

"Hello, Dan and Phil Games Ballerinas!" Phil said exuberantly as he stared into the lens of the camera.

"Ballerinas?" Dan asked laughing.

"What? They dance." Phil said defensively. "Plus I'm kind of hoping that we're going to be a bit more graceful than the last time we attempted this."

"True, and you've probably guessed it by now, or you've read the title of the video, but today we're doing another three legged DDR challenge." Dan said.

"I feel like we're trying our luck a little bit here," Phil admitted, tilting his head as he looked at the camera, "I mean if you've watched the last video then you will have seen how we kept stumbling and falling and did you see how much our lower legs twisted? We were lucky to escape injury!"

"I mean, yeah, you're right." Dan laughed. "Plus, I don't know if we've ever mentioned this to you guys before, but we were both limping for days after filming the last video."

"It was so painful!" Phil interjected. "I swear my entire foot and leg was throbbing after that."

"Phil, please." Dan said holding up a hand. "Don't say 'throbbing' on the internet, it's not good."

"Oops, sorry guys." Phil said, smiling as though he had no idea why he was even apologising.

"Anyway!" Phil said loudly. "This time we're taking more precautions, we're going to wear fluffy slipper socks to hopefully lessen the blows to our poor feet and we're using Duct tape – or Duck Tape as I know many of you guys call it."

"You call it that too, Phil, don't try and fool our viewers." Dan scolded with amusement. "So, the plan is that since Duct Tape is more sturdy, then hopefully it's going to support our legs and feet more than the Parcel Tape did."

"Hopefully." Phil added.

"Probably not." Dan muttered. "Let's do it anyway!"

Dan started whistling to himself as he began to wrap the stiff, silvery tape around their legs, he started at their feet making sure to use excessive amounts of the tape, so that it looked like they were wearing a giant silver boot.

When he tried to wiggle his toes he noticed that they would barely move, that was a good thing right? If there was less movement then there would be less stepping on Phil's toes and his toes would also be safer. Hopefully.

The tape was thickly layered all the way up their legs until Dan finally cut it off and stuck it so it looked as though they were wearing a full leg cast.

"My knee won't bend!" Phil exclaimed. "How are we meant to do this if we can hardly bend our legs?"

"I'm sure we'll manage to work something out." Dan said, waving a dismissive hand.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Dan?" Phil asked quietly, knowing that they would be cutting this out of the final video. "I meant what I said earlier about us being lucky that we didn't end up more injured than just having sore feet and legs."

"We'll be fine." Dan said, "We'd have to be really unlucky to end up causing ourselves serious harm, plus we've learned loads from the last time, we know what we're doing now."

"If you're sure." Phil said dubiously. "I'm still pretty convinced that I'm going to end up taking you to A&E."

"No way, between the two of us you're the clumsy one, I'd end up taking you to A&E." Dan counter argued.

"Why don't we just agree that neither of us are going to go to the hospital today and leave it at that?" Phil asked.

"Sure." Dan conceded, before turning to the camera. "So, I've been thinking, in the last video we managed to get the 'D' on Novice and Easy levels. So why don't we aim to get the 'D' on Medium, Hard and Expert today?"

"You want to try and do Expert mode today?" Phil asked in shock, Dan hadn't actually told him about the plan for the day so the reaction was not surprising.

It started off well, the Duct Tape actually did help a little but it didn't fully stop them from stepping on each other's feet. The songs passed in a series of yelps and 'stop standing on my feet', but finally the reached the end of Medium mode with the 'D'.

"Yes!" Dan shouted.

"I can't believe we managed to do that!" Phil said excitedly, "We actually managed to do a Medium level!"

"Yeah, but now it's time for Hard Mode, we're going to die." Dan said, his hair was already starting to curl slightly at the tips from perspiration.

They started flicking through the songs until Dan stopped on one by E-rotic.

"No, we can't do one of those ones." Phil groaned.

"Come on, I want to see how hard E-rotic is," Dan whined, "that sounded really wrong."

"Oh no." Phil laughed.

It started off alright, at least Dan thought so, they were missing a lot of the arrows but they were still standing which was an achievement in itself.

Dan knew the exact moment when it went all wrong. They needed to press the up and down arrows at the same time, but Dan decided to use their joined feet for the up arrow just as Phil started to go for the down arrow.

Dan's momentum carried him forward, pulling Phil along for the ride too.

"No!" Phil shouted.

Dan swore as he saw the floor approaching quickly.

Dan tried to twist so that he wouldn't land on his face but instead somehow landed on his left arm, it was trapped under his body and he was about to move when he felt Phil fall and land on his right leg. For a moment Dan lay there in shock, feeling completely fine.

And then the pain hit, the overwhelming, boiling agony. It seemed to travel from the tips of his left hand's fingers all the way down to the very ends of his toes on his right foot.

"Oh my fucking god, Phil, stop moving." Dan gasped out.

Phil froze instantly, Dan could feel him tense.

"What happened? Are you alright?" He had asked in concern.

"Fucking, fuck, shit." Dan swore, he knew that he should probably talk to Phil and tell him what was wrong, but there was too much pain, too much of everything.

"Dan?" Phil was definitely sounding more panicked this time. "Dan!"


	2. Probably Not Just a Sprain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains dan's explicit language and kinda graphic descriptions of injuries, just a little warning in case you're squeamish

“Jesus fucking Christ, Phil, please be quiet for two damn seconds.” Dan groaned.

He was hurt and he just needed a few minutes to process, he needed a chance to deal with the pain before he completely lost it, and Phil frantically asking him if he was alright was not helping at all. Although he did feel a bit bad for snapping and promised himself that he would apologize to Phil as soon as he felt as though he could open his mouth without a litany of swearwords pouring out.

Phil, bless him, had done as he’d asked and fallen silent, and he was still trying to stay as still as he possibly could, but every time he so much as breathed Dan’s leg seemed to twinge.

“Ah, shit.” Dan muttered to himself.

“Dan?” Phil spoke quietly as though he thought that Dan was going to swear at him again, and that made Dan feel like a terrible friend. “Can you tell me what hurts?”

“It’s my arm and my leg.” Dan whispered, he couldn’t bring himself to speak any louder, the pain was too much and it was draining his energy.

“Which leg?” Phil asked softly.

“Right.”

“I was really hoping it wasn’t that one.” Phil said to himself as he stared at Dan’s right leg which was encased in a suit of metallic silver and pressed tightly against his own left one.

Dan knew what he meant, Phil was going to have to cut him free and unfortunately that would mean a lot of movement. Movement which was going to be pretty sore for Dan.

“Do you have your phone on you?” Asked Dan quietly.

“No I plugged it in to charge before coming up here, I actually stole your charger, sorry.” Phil said. “You had like 45% battery so I just thought it would be ok.”

Dan couldn’t care less about Phil stealing his charger now.

“Can you reach the scissors from there?” Dan asked Phil through clenched teeth.

“I might have to stretch a bit, they’re up on the desk and I don’t think they’re within range as I am now.” Phil said apologetically.

“Right, sure.” Dan said.

“Look, I’m sure that we could shout until the neighbours called the police again?” Phil offered.

“No thanks, it’s going to be embarrassing enough to go to the hospital and explain that I got hurt playing three legged DDR, can you imagine explaining that to a police officer and _then_ the paramedics that they’d call?” Dan said.

“You’re going to cause yourself pain just to protect your dignity?” Phil asked incredulously.

“I’m going to be in pain regardless, so yes, I’m going to protect what little dignity I have left by not shouting to alarm our neighbours who may, or may not, be home.” Dan said stubbornly, wincing as the movement from speaking sent hot spikes of agony through his arm which he was still lying on top of.

He could feel his arm beginning to tingle and cursed softly. He could not cope with pins and needles on top of the pain that was already there. He didn’t know what he had done to himself, but he was pretty such that it was kind of serious, after all, a normal knock wouldn’t cause this much pain.

“Right.” Phil muttered, taking a deep breath and resigning himself to the fact that he was going to have to inflict pain on Dan momentarily. He didn’t want to argue though, as he could see from Dan’s tense posture that he was barely holding it together as it was.

“Phil?” Dan asked suddenly before Phil had moved. “Could you just do it quickly, no matter what I say just grab the scissors?”

“Alright, I’ll try,” Phil said, “but you owe me a gigantic coffee at Starbucks after this is all over and done with.”

“Deal.” Dan groaned, he could feel the tingling in his arm getting worse.

Phil decided not to warn Dan and suddenly lurched for the desk, gripping it tightly in one hand while he stretched the other as far as he could towards the scissors, he could feel the metal brushing the very tips of his fingers but it was too far away. He was going to have to move his legs.

It would be alright, he just had to be quick and then he could settle after and make sure that Dan wasn’t too badly hurt by him.

He lunged. His leg pulled at Dan’s causing it to jolt suddenly.

“Motherfucker!” The curse was screamed at the top of Dan’s voice as he panted out his breaths at a rate which was worrying Phil immensely, but Phil had the scissors.

Dan felt Phil still as he was choking on his own breath and muttering as many curses as he could. Swearing helped somehow, it allowed him to deal with the pain slightly, in an expletive form.

“Ok, ok, I’ve got them,” Phil said quickly as he returned to his previous position and finally allowed the strain between their legs to settle.

“Thank fuck for that.” Dan said with a humourless chuckle.

“So how do you want to do this?” Phil asked. “Just got for it, or what?”

“I don’t know.” Dan said through gritted teeth. “Just start and we’ll take it from there. Just please be careful, those scissors are sharp.”

“I will be, don’t worry.”

“I always worry about you and sharp objects.” Dan admitted.

“Just keep talking to me, don’t think about what I’m doing.” Phil suggested.

“I can’t think of anything to talk about, except maybe that my arm is getting really bad pins and needles and it’s making the pain worse.” Dan said.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be free soon, but when I said to talk about something, it was a ploy to take your mind off of the pain.” Phil said and Dan felt guilty as he could hear the worry in Phil’s voice.

“I have decided that I now hate DDR.” Dan said.

“Understandable, I can't say that I’m too fond of it anymore either.” Phil said, and Dan could hear the snipping of the scissors cutting through the tape. Why had Dan thought that it would be a good idea to make it so thick?

“Do you think our followers will be disappointed that we won't be doing another DDR video?” Dan asked.

“I really don’t care.” Phil muttered.

“Yes, you do.” Dan said softly, he knew that Phil cared way more than he let on about what people thought of him, especially when it came to their followers.

“I know.” Phil said with a sigh. “Right now, though, I care more about getting you to a hospital, and it’s not like they even know that we were planning on filming another DDR video.”

“Er.”

“What did you do?” Phil asked as he snipped another part of the tape.

“Ow, fuck, god fucking damn it.” Dan groaned.

“Ok?” Phil checked, pausing his cutting.

“Yeah.” Dan murmured, blinking back tears, he was not going to cry. He was not going to cry. He was stronger than that, he could hold it together.

He was crying.

It was fine, he was allowed to cry damn it! His arm was on fire and his leg was in fucking agony, so if he wanted to cry then he was damn well entitled to.

“Dan?”

“Oh, I uh tweeted that we were going to be filming a sequel video and I may have used some painfully obvious emojis, everyone kinda guessed it instantly.” Dan said with a quiet sniff that caught Phil’s attention.

“Nearly done, Dan, just concentrate on anything but what I’m saying.” Phil said. “I’m almost at our ankles.”

It was an awkward angle to cut through tape at but it was necessary in order to avoid either of them having to move.

“That’s easier said than done.” Dan muttered. “Are you mad that I tweeted about the video?”

“Of course not.” Phil said instantly, making Dan feel silly for even thinking that he could be. “I would have probably tweeted too, once we’d finished filming if you hadn’t gotten hurt.”

“I feel like this should be a ‘Reasons Why Dan’s a Fail’” Dan said, his voice thick.

“Nah.” Phil responded lightly, he was glad that Dan couldn’t see the frown of concern on his face. “I mean, come on, ‘I can’t play three legged DDR’ is kinda less relatable than your other ones in the series.”

“True, but I’m sure that everyone would get a good laugh at my expense.” Dan said with a teary chuckle.

“That can wait, let’s get you to a hospital before we start worrying about people laughing at you for injuring yourself.” Said Phil.

“How long till I’m free?” Dan asked.

“Just a few more minutes.” Phil responded. “Once we’re finally separated, I’ll run downstairs and get my phone so I can call an ambulance.”

“No.” Dan said immediately. “No chance, Phil. We can just grab a cab or something, there is no point wasting NHS resources on what is probably just a bad sprain.”

“Be reasonable, you’re flinching and swearing whenever I so much as knock you, there is no way that you're going to be able to walk down the stairs and climb into a taxi.” Phil said patiently.

“I am not being carried out of our home on a stretcher!” Dan said loudly, and if you asked Phil, unreasonably.

“You’re not going to be able to walk. Plus, I can't carry you without moving you a whole lot and probably making whatever is wrong with you worse.”

“You won't make it worse, I’ll just suck it up until we get there.” Dan said pleadingly.

“Nope. No way, I’m putting my foot down here, we need professional help, this has got to be way, way worse than a sprain. You're crying.” Phil exclaimed.

“I am not.” Dan lied, as he licked his lips and tasted the salt that had reached them from his tears.

“Come on, there is no shame in asking for help when you really need it.”

“It’s humiliating!”

“Dan, we’re going around in circles.” Phil said, cutting off any further arguments from his injured friend. “I am going to go and call an ambulance in just a few minutes and that is final, you aren’t going to be able to stop me either, as you can't walk or move your arm currently.”

“That’s harsh.” Dan sighed, glad that Phil couldn’t see that he was currently pouting like a child.

Dan decided to shut up for the time being, as he was beginning to feel light headed, which posed an interesting question. How long could the human body undergo pain for, before it decided to just give up?

Not in the dying sense, Dan was pretty sure that he wasn’t that bad. He was overly dramatic, but he knew that he would live though this ordeal. No, he had meant that as in consciousness, how long could someone stay alert when they were in constant, never ending pain?

He was starting to feel tired, which made him think that maybe he would actually lose consciousness, and after all that would be nice, he was sick of the hurting and the spikes of pain whenever the scissors would clip shut and jolt minutely against his leg. He couldn’t though, he needed to make sure that he was awake enough to stop Phil from completely freaking out.

He had heard the slight hysteria in Phil’s voice that told him that he was only managing to hold it together for Dan’s sake and that he was really worried. If Dan fell asleep right now, like his body wanted to, then there would be nothing from stopping Phil’s freak out, and Dan would find himself being airlifted to hospital or some other overdramatically crap would happen.

“Hey, Phil, where are you at now?” Dan asked, hoping the conversation would keep him awake rather than tiring him out even more.

“Just on our feet, you're almost completely free.” Phil updated him, but his voice didn’t sound quite right.

“What’s wrong?” Dan asked instantly.

“Nothing, don’t worry, I’m nearly there.” Phil said.

“Phil, I can tell from your voice that something isn’t right, so come on tell me what’s wrong. I can handle it. I promise.” Dan said reassuringly, although he was dubious as to how convincing a guy crying in pain could actually be.

“There’s blood on your jeans.” Phil said hoarsely, as he snipped away.

“Blood? Wait, did you cut me with the scissors? You’d have thought that I would’ve felt that.” Dan murmured.

“No, it wasn’t me; you’re jeans are completely intact.” Phil said.

That was when Dan understood, and he felt as though he was going to throw up or pass out, or both.

His leg had been encased in tape, nothing sharp had been near it except the scissors which couldn’t have done any damage as his jeans hadn’t even been cut by them, and yet he was bleeding.

He was bleeding from something that had been inside the tape, but Phil hadn’t been affected by it which meant that it was most likely Dan’s own body which had caused the injury.

There was only one thing that he could think of, he’d watched so many youtube videos of people trying stupid stunts and hurting themselves, and he had seen how horribly bad it could be. How a simple fall could result in a broken bone.

How a broken bone could cause all sorts of damage. How it could potentially pierce the skin, which would cause bleeding.

“Oh fuck.” Was all that Dan had said.

“Pretty much.” Phil replied. “You still wanting to stop me from calling that ambulance?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr @existentialcatwhiskers and why not chat with me? 
> 
> Also let me know what you thought of this chapter, pretty please? The next chapter will probably be the hospital ;) 
> 
> Have a nice day/evening/night guys! <3


	3. Orange Boards and Superhuman Strength

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) 
> 
> Medical terminology used, I included most definitions at the bottom (you may already know them tbh) but if I've missed anything just ask me on here or on tumblr

When the ambulance arrived Phil galloped down the stairs to let the two paramedics in. How many times had Dan made fun of the sirens that had interrupted his filming in the past? And yet, Phil had spent the last fifteen minutes frantically trying to reassure Dan and keep him calm, which had turned into trying to keep himself calm as Dan became paler and started to zone out and yawn. All the while, he was anxiously listening for the tell-tale ambulance sirens.

Phil couldn’t help but wince as he looked at the two paramedics, they were both tiny, and he wasn’t sure how they were going to manage to get Dan out of the place.

“You called for an ambulance?” One of the women asked.

“Yeah, it’s my friend, Dan, he’s hurt and I think he might have broken his leg.” Phil explained quickly.

“Alright, Phil, if you take us to him, we’ll see what we can do.” The other woman said soothingly.

“Right.” Phil said and ushered them up the stairs to the office.

It was pretty cramped with them all trying to squeeze into one of the smaller rooms in the flat, but Phil wasn’t worried about that, he was more concerned with the fact that Dan’s eyes had slipped shut whilst he had been downstairs.

“Dan!” Phil said loudly, causing Dan to frown and open his eyes, he looked so disgruntled that it made Phil want to laugh, but he could barely even muster up a smile to reassure his friend. “Hey! The paramedics are here.”

Phil was politely moved to the side so that the two women could get closer to Dan.

“Hey there Dan,” one of them said, “my name is Tracey and this is my partner Anna, we’re going to see if we can do something to ease that pain, alright?”

“Ok.” Dan said quietly.

“Righty-oh, now Dan are you allergic to anything that you know of?” Tracey asked.

Dan shook his head.

“I know you’re feeling tired, but I’m going to need you to stay awake for us, we’re going to work on getting you some morphine and then we’ll see how badly you’ve hurt yourself.” Anna said.

Phil stood back and watched them get to work, he felt useless, like a spare part, there was nothing that he could do to help.

“Did you move him at all?” Anna asked, turning to Phil.

“Only to roll him onto his back, he was getting pins and needles in his arm and it was hurting him more.” Phil said.

Anna nodded. “Ok, don’t worry, we’ll do everything that we can for your friend.”

 They watched as a needle was inserted into the muscles of Dan’s arm and a clear liquid was administered.

The effect was almost instantaneous, Dan seemed to relax quickly as though the injection had taken away all his worries and pain.

“That should feel a bit better now, but I need you to make more of an effort to stay awake now, with the pain gone, it might feel easier for you to fall asleep.” Tracey explained to Dan who nodded sluggishly.

“Right, Anna, I’m pretty sure we have a fractured lower right leg and possibly left arm, we’re going to need box splints on them to secure and blankets as I think he’s going into shock.” Tracey said quietly to her partner who nodded and left the room to go and get the necessary equipment from the ambulance.

“How did this happen?” Tracey asked as they were waiting for the equipment.

“Uh, it’s kind of embarrassing really.” Phil said, knowing that Dan would kill him when he was feeling better. “We were playing three legged DDR.”

“Three legged DDR?” Tracey asked as though he had spoken another language. 

“Yeah, we taped our legs together and then tried to play DDR.” Phil said. “We managed alright last time, so we just kinda thought we’d be ok a second time.”

“Why?” Tracey asked.

“We’re youtubers, which means that we-” Phil was cut off.

“I know what youtubers do,” she said, “my son is obsessed with plenty of them.”

“Oh, right,” Phil said apologetically. “Anyway, last time we did a three legged DDR video it was really fun and our viewers loved it as much as we did, so Dan thought that we should do another one.”

“Don’t blame me, you're the uncoordinated one.” Dan muttered from beside them, his face was ever so slightly pink which told Phil that if it hadn’t been for the shock, he would’ve been bright red.

“I am, but look who got injured this time, maybe you’re more uncoordinated than I am.” Phil retorted.

“You can't insult a dying man.” Dan whined breathlessly.

“You're not dying.” Tracey said quickly.

“Ha.” Phil muttered.

“Oh no, I’m not taking sides, I just don’t want you to get yourself into a panic.” Tracey said.

“Right.” Dan said sarcastically. “You best worry about him then, I’m not the one who’s going to panic right now, I’ve had drugs.”

“I am not a panicky person.” Phil insisted.

“Before we went on the American Tour, you had five checklists which were all the same and you went through every single one before we could leave the house.” Dan laughed weakly.

“That’s just being practical.” Phil muttered.

Dan’s retort was cut off as Anna reappeared laden with all sorts of things that Phil couldn’t name.

“Right, Dan, are you ready to get this show on the road?” Anna asked.

“Please.”

“Alright, is it ok if I cut your jeans?” She asked, pulling out a sharp pair of scissors.

“What? Why?” Dan asked, he only owned like three pairs, cutting them would mean that he was going to have to go shopping, and that meant interacting with people.

“Well you are bleeding, and that means that the bone has pierced the skin which can become quite serious, so I want to check the wound and cover it with a sterile dressing.” Anna explained. “I don’t want you to move much either, so cutting them is the easiest option for you.”

“Alright then.” Dan sighed. “My poor jeans.”

The scissors must have been extremely sharp as they seemed to soar through the thick fabric effortlessly, Phil made a mental note to see if he could buy a pair online. Although he couldn’t tell Dan, for some reason Dan got incredibly antsy when Phil had significantly sharp objects in his hands.

“Wow, well that’s definitely broken.” Anna remarked.

“Is looking a bad idea?” Dan asked and even Phil could hear the curiousity in his voice.

“I would recommend that you don’t look.” Tracey said. “You’re already showing signs of mild shock and I don’t want anything to get worse right now.”

In Dan’s opinion that didn’t seem very reassuring, he might as well have looked in the first place because now he was probably imagining something that was a lot worse than actual reality. He glanced at Phil who hadn’t had much experience with this type of thing either and saw that he looked positively horrified.

Dan was rather impressed by the two paramedics’ poker faces as they didn’t really let on much about what was happening, whereas when he looked at Phil he could easily imagine that his leg may very well be hanging off at the knee.

No, that couldn’t be possible because he felt something cold and wet on his shin.

“Just some saline to clean the area up a little.” Anna murmured soothingly. Dan could hear a rustling of plastic and felt vaguely worried, he hoped that he would have been more concerned about his own welfare if he wasn’t drugged. “A clean dressing, and that’s that done.”

Tracey held up a bright orange board that was covered in Velcro.

“Right, Dan.” She said. “This is called a box splint, myself and Anna are going to slide this under your leg as carefully as we can and then it folds up around your leg – like a box – and we’ll Velcro it in place. It’ll keep your leg stable and immobile until we’ve had it x-rayed.”

“Fantastic.” Dan said in a strained voice. “Is this going to hurt?”

“Hopefully the morphine we’ve given you should help, but it may be sore as we move the splint into position.” Anna said.

“Alright, lets just get this over and done with.” Dan muttered.

Phil reached out and squeezed his good hand gently in reassurance, with a small smile that he had tried his best to make as sincere as possible. Dan appreciated the effort, even if he could see straight through his best friend.

“On three. Ready? One, two and three.”

The paramedics slid the board into position so quickly and efficiently that Dan didn’t feel the pain until after the board was in place. He held his breath through the worst of it, he didn’t want to shout and swear at the two kind paramedics who had done everything they could to try and make him as comfortable as was within their power.

“Breathe, Dan.” Phil reminded him after a few moments causing Dan to exhale in a rush.

“That’s the board in place, we’re just going to fold it up around your leg now and Velcro it into place, it might feel a little bit cold at first, just because its been out in the ambulance.” Anna warned him.

“Also, we will have to make sure the straps are relatively tight, there’s no point putting it on it it can just slip and slide all over the place, is there?” Tracey said with a low chuckle.

Dan groaned as the straps tightened around his leg.

“Just let me know if it gets to be too much, hun.” Tracey said. “We didn’t give you the max dose of morphine earlier, so you can have more if it’s getting unbearable. Just remember to speak up.”

Dan nodded his head, not trusting himself to speak. He would ask again, he knew he would, but he wanted to try and last a little longer. To save _some_ of his rapidly deteriorating dignity.

Here were two women, who couldn’t be more that 5’4’’, manhandling him into brightly coloured devices designed to stop him from injuring himself further, and they hadn’t judged him at all. They’d accepted Phil’s explanation about the three legged DDR seemingly without too many questions, they’d seen the tear tracks on Dan’s face and hadn’t condescended him instead they had given him pain relief.

So now, he felt obligated to try and make their job a little bit easier. He would complain as little as possible, and let them do what was required in order to get him to the hospital so that they could move on to their next call.

If that meant taking the least amount of drugs he could physically cope with, then so be it. It had taken up their valuable time to draw up the correct dosage of drug and check it with each other, time which Dan felt guilty for wasting.

He didn’t voice this out loud though, as Phil would probably smack him over the shoulder and tell him that he was an idiot and that this was their job.

“Just another splint for that arm, and then we’ll get you on the stretcher.” Tracey said as she checked his blood pressure – on his good arm, of course.

“Another splint?” Phil asked, voicing Dan’s question.

“We don’t know if there’s a break or not yet, so it’s best to treat it as though there is one, better precautions and better outcomes.” Anna explained as she slid the board under Dan’s arm quickly, using the distraction of the tight blood pressure cuff to her advantage.

Dan groaned in pain and took advantage of having Phil’s hand in his own, squeezing it tightly to get himself through the pain.

“BP 94/65.” Tracey said to Anna.

“We’ll get him on the stretcher and into the ambulance asap.” Anna replied, quickly doing up the Velcro.

“What does that mean?” Phil asked, sensing the change in the mood.

“Dan’s blood pressure is 94/65 which is a tad low, it’s meant to be – on average – 120/80.” Tracey explained as they quickly packed up all their equipment to make room for the stretcher.

“Why’s it so low?” Dan asked, his voice sounded a little higher than usual, or so he thought at least.

“It’s a normal sign of shock, which is why I need you to focus on remaining as calm as you can.” Tracey explained to them.  “Now, Dan, we’re going to get you on the stretcher.”

Phil was ushered out of the way to fit the bizarre contraption into the room, he had felt bad for standing there doing nothing as the two tiny women worked on getting his 6’3’’ friend onto the stretcher.

However, as it turned out, they didn’t need his help, he felt as though he was watching a tv show about superheroes or something as they seemed to move Dan without even breaking a sweat, and before they knew it, Dan was lying on the stretcher – eyes clenched shut and muttering swearwords profusely under his breath – and they were preparing to transport him downstairs.

“Can I come with you?” Phil asked.

“Sure, as long as it’s alright with Dan, then it’s fine with us.” Anna said with a shrug.

“I’d like him there.” Dan said through clenched teeth.

“Would you like some more pain relief, hun?” Tracey asked.

“I can wait till we get to the ambulance.” Dan said.

He had already watched them pack it away in their giant bags of goodies and knew that they’d be wasting time doing it here when it could be done en route to the hospital.

They began the descent. Dan was praying to whatever deities were out there that he wouldn’t be dropped as they climbed down the stairs, it was odd going down the stairs horizontally, he’d never really inspected the roof of their hallway that closely before. Looking at it now, it could probably use a lick of paint.

“How you doing there?” Anna asked as they were nearing the front door.

“Just peachy.” Dan muttered.

Before he knew it he was loaded into the back of the ambulance and being given more morphine. He could see Phil struggling to keep a serious face as he looked around the ambulance excitedly, Dan could tell from his expression that this was his first time in one.

He would give Phil credit where it was due though, he did look concerned whenever Tracey would check his vital signs, and he also supplied all the information needed to fill in the paperwork. He would even ask the relentless questions that Dan wanted to ask.

When Tracy mentioned that he was tachy, Phil had freaked out.

What does that mean? Is that good or bad? Has that gotten worse? How long till we’re at the hospital? Will Dan be alright?

Dan wanted to tell him to chill and relax, everything would be fine, but then he probably wasn’t the best judge of that as he was doped up to his eyeballs with opioids.

“It just means that his heart rate is a bit elevated, not too high at the moment, but we’ll need to keep an eye on it.” Tracey explained.

That made sense, Dan had been wondering why the morphine had worked so quickly. The last time he’d been given it, it had taken ages to kick in, but that was when his heart rate had been it’s usual sluggish self.

“Nearly there, Dan, open those eyes for me please.” Tracey said patiently. Dan opened them quickly and blinked against the harsh ambulance lights, he hadn’t even registered that his eyes had closed.

“Hey Dan, do you want me to call your family when we get there?” Phil asked.

“They’re in Egypt, there’s no point.” Dan mumbled, Phil knew that. Why would he even ask?

“That’s right, of course, how long are they there again?” Phil asked.

“Two weeks, Phil, you knew that already.” Dan said with an irritated huff that was so pathetic, it was no wonder Phil smirked down at him.

“So my mum and dad will be here in a week.” Phil said. “I’m not looking forward to giving up my bed.”

“ _I know_ , you’ve told me ten times today already.” Dan said, feeling more awake as he became more irritated, why was Phil rabbiting on about this? Couldn’t he see that Dan was sore and tired and really not in the mood to do anything but sleep?

“Do you think I could make them sleep on the sofa bed?” Phil asked.

“We’ve been through this, you can't give guests the crappy bed.” Dan exclaimed.

“True.” Phil said and fell silent with a grin.

Dan didn’t realise that he’d been duped until he saw Tracey’s form trembling with silent giggles.

“You little-” Dan trailed off.

“It worked didn’t it? You’re definitely awake now.” Phil said.

“Well played, Phil Lester.” Dan grumbled.

“Hospital in sight, prepare to unload in a few minutes.” Anna called back.

“Well done, Dan.” Tracey said. “You’ve done incredibly well, we’re just about there and you’ll be getting seen to in no time.”

“Thank you.” Dan said.

“Oh it’s no bother, I just hope that I don’t see you again any time soon!” Tracey laughed.

“It must be nice to have a job where you can say that to people and they agree.” Dan said wistfully.

“It is.” Tracey said with a wink.

The engine cut out and the back doors opened to let them out. Dan was impressed at the speed which he was taken through at. The last time he’d had to visit A&E he’d sat in the waiting room for three hours, this time however he was whisked through to the department and instantly a nurse was beside him with a light smile.

“Right, here we have a twenty five year old man called Daniel Howell, who likes to be called Dan. His friend called for an ambulance after he fell at home and injured himself. Fracture to the right leg, penetrating the skin. Potential fracture to the left arm. Both limbs were immobilised. He has been showing signs of shock, hypotensive at 94/65 and tachy at 119 bpm, all other observations are fine. Past medical history of orthostatic hypotension and he had surgery in 2010 but his friend was unsure of the type and Dan was too out of it to supply any information. Has had 6mg of morphine IM, 3mg on arrival at scene, and 3mg on route, he can have a further 4mg if required.” Tracey told the nurse.

“Alrighty then, thank you very much.” The nurse said to the two paramedics, who waved their goodbyes to Dan and Phil, before turning to face the two of them. “Hello boys, my name is Marie and I’ll be your nurse today.”

“Hi, I’m Phil.” Phil introduced himself as Tracey hadn’t.

“Nice to meet you.” Marie said with a cheerful smile, before turning to Dan. “Right, let’s see what you’ve done to yourself, shall we?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hypotension - low BP (Blood Pressure)  
> Tachycardia - high pulse/ heart rate  
> Morphine - an opioid painkiller (very strong)  
> IM - Intramuscular - into the muscle
> 
> Follow me on tumblr, I'm existentialcatwhiskers
> 
> Thank you for all the kind comments, I really appreciate them <3 Don't fear friends the friendship to lovers transformation is about to begin ;)


	4. X-Rays and Porn Stars?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: This is a work of fiction and is by no means true

Dan had to lie there on the mildly uncomfortable trolley while his nurse – Marie – flitted around him repeating the same tests that the ambulance crew had just done. It was all a bit confusing, why were they repeating things that were literally done ten minutes ago? Dan didn’t want to ask though, he simply lay there and did as he was told to make things easier for everyone, he lifted his good arm for the blood pressure cuff, he gave pain scores, nausea scores, and answered any questions that they asked.

Dan would’ve been lost if it hadn’t been for Phil, somehow his friend had known exactly what questions to ask and not only that, but he also had the confidence that Dan lacked to actually speak up and question the medical professionals.

“Why are all these tests being repeated?” Phil had asked, speaking Dan’s mind. “They were already done by the ambulance.”

“I know, and I’m sorry that we have to go through all of this again, but we need to get a new set of observations so that we can tell whether there has been any deterioration in your vital signs.” Marie explained. “Also, some of the equipment that the ambulances use is different to ours, so we like to get a baseline when you’re admitted with our own equipment.”

Dan nodded. That made sense, the last time he had been admitted, his vital signs had been check pretty regularly after his operation.

“Right, that’s that.” Marie chirped and then frowned as she cast an eye over the colourful chart that she had just filled out. “Your blood pressure has dipped a little bit more than the readings in the ambulance.”

“What does that mean?” Phil asked instantly. “Could it just be the different equipment like you mentioned?”

“Well, the chances of that are slim due to the levels of change, usually it would only change a tiny bit,” Marie said, “tell me, Dan, have you had plenty to drink today?”

“Well, I had a coffee when I woke up this morning but that’s it I think.” Dan admitted shamefaced, he glanced at the clock at saw that it was already three in the afternoon, so he really hadn’t helped himself there.

“Dan!” Phil scolded.

“Right, well you’re going to be dehydrated, especially if this is a normal occurrence for you, and that’s not going to be helping your case of shock.” Marie explained. “What I’m going to do is get you written up for IV fluids before I book you in for your x-ray. I’ll also need to get you some warm blankets.”

“I'm not cold though.” Dan said with a confused look on his face, maybe the morphine was getting to him, was he cold and he just didn’t realise it yet?  

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just that keeping people warm and comfortable is a key part in treating shock and preventing it from being more serious.” Marie explained.

Fifteen minutes later, Dan found himself bundled in thick, warm blankets which a middle aged nurse at his side holding onto what he called a ‘cannula’ and what Dan call a ‘tap’ or a ‘water gun’.

“Have you had one of these in before?” He asked gently prodding at Dan’s right hand to feel for the veins.

“Yeah, a few year ago.” Dan said, staring at the small pink thing that was about to be inserted. Thank fuck for morphine as he would have normally been freaking out, but right now he couldn’t care less.

“Right, that’s good, you’ll know what to expect then.” The man said.

A tight band was wrapped around Dan’s forearm before his skin was cleaned with an alcohol wipe.

“Hey, Dan.” Phil said suddenly, drawing Dan’s attention away from his hand and to the man sitting patiently beside him. “Do you want me to call anyone for you?”

“No, it would usually just be my parents but they won't answer from where they are so there’s no one else I can think of.” Dan shrugged. “You could tell our viewers if you want to?”

“What do you want me to tell them?” Phil asked.

“Nothing exact since we don’t know what exactly I’ve managed to do to myself yet.” Dan said. “Maybe just that I managed to land myself in hospital but I’m ok and that there’ll be a hold on new videos for a while?”

“Sounds good.” Phil said and moved to hand his phone over. “Do you want to sign in?”

“Seriously Phil, I’m getting a water gun inserted into my right hand and I have had my left one immobilised, do you expect me to sign in with my nose?”

“Oh right.” Phil said sheepishly.

“My twitter password is in your notes.” Dan admitted.

“What? Since when?” Phil asked as he tapped away frantically to get to his notes. He assumed it was probably in the one named _RAWR SO RANDUM LOL._

“I kept forgetting it and then when I would save it on my own devices they would always break somehow, so your phone turned into my secret password location.” Dan said.

“You do realise that if I went into my notes and saw one titles ‘Rawr so randum lol’, I would have instantly known that it was you who wrote that?” Phil asked.

“I was feeling very random that day.” Dan said defensively.

“Obviously.” Phil muttered.

“So you guys make internet videos huh?” the nurse asked them, interrupting their banter.

“Yeah.” Phil said with a grin.

“Wow, how much do you make doing that?” the guy asked.

“Enough to get by.” Dan said, he really hated it when people asked about the money, he wasn’t in it for the money, or fame, or even recognition.

“You guys must be good then. Someone once told me than a lot of porn stars are actually really underpaid and that only the best of the best can make a real living out of the industry.” The guy said as he jabbed the needle into Dan’s hand. Fortunately Dan was too shocked to react to the stabbing.

Phil on the other hand looked as though he was either going to laugh or cry, Dan wasn’t sure which one would win in the end.

“No, no, no!” Phil gasped out. “We don’t do that! We’re not- I mean, we. I- but… What?”

“What he’s trying and also failing to say is that we aren’t porn stars.” Dan said and just like that the dam broke and he was laughing so hard that his entire body was shaking. It was a good thing that the water gun was already inserted into his hand as there would be no chance of it going into the right place now that he was causing a minor earthquake with his body.

“Oh.” The man said, his face flushing bright red. “Right, of course, my bad. I’ll, erm, I’ll just go get the doctors to prescribe you some fluids.”

Dan was still laughing as the man ran off with his charts.

“Damn, I wish we’d gotten his name.” Dan chuckled.

“That was mortifying!” Phil insisted.

“Yeah, for him, not for us.” Dan said. “He actually thought we were porn stars! Oh God! I wonder if that was affecting how he thought I’d managed to injure myself, he was really careful not to ask.”

“I am not including that in your tweet!” Phil said sternly. “Plus, why do I have to tweet from your account? Can't I just tell everyone from mine?”

“You can do both if you want, but you and I know that a few people will overreact and if they don’t see the tweet from me, they’ll probably assume I’m dead or in a coma or something.”

Phil couldn’t argue with that. He remembered tweeting in 2010 to say that Dan wasn’t well and that Phil was taking him to A&E, to this day he still gets comments on that tweet asking what had happened and whether Dan was feeling better yet. He really wanted to tell them that of course Dan was feeling better, it had been six years since the hospital trip, but he had restrained himself from doing so.

“What do you want to say?” Phil asked.

“Hmm,” Dan pondered it for a moment, staring at the ceiling slightly cross eyed, Phil wasn’t sure whether it was wise to be composing a tweet while doped up on painkillers but he could at least censor as he was typing. “Right how about ‘whaddup friendizzles? tweeting you from the land of the sick and injured as i pulled another 'reasons why dans a fail' im a living flop tbh’?”

“Really?” Phil asked, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

“Oh, and make sure it’s completely in lowercase, I don’t want any capitalisation, ew.” Dan said.

“This is a crime against humanity.” Phil muttered as he typed out the tweet. “You have enough characters left for one emoji.”

“Hmmm, no its not really an emoji tweet, just the criminally appalling text is enough I think.” Dan said. “I think the morphine’s already beginning to wear off a little, is it normal to wear off this quickly?”

“They did say that you haven’t had the full dose, maybe they can give you some more next time they come over.” Phil said.

They sat and played noughts and crosses on Phil’s phone to pass the time, Dan was winning, he decided that playing the game with his right hand must be lucky.

Eventually after wasting 20% of Phil’s battery and completely annihilating him at noughts and crosses, Marie walked back over to them holding an assortment of things that seemed to be for Dan.

“Hey guys, how are you both doing?”  she asked as she placed all of the stuff on the table beside them.

“Never better.” Dan said sarcastically, although it lacked any bite and Marie barked out a small laugh.

“Good to know.” She chirped.

“Dan was actually wondering if it’s normal for the painkillers to be wearing off so quickly?” Phil asked, shooting an exasperated look at Dan who had been unwilling to ask.

“You should have said!” Marie said with slight disapproval. “I’ll just set up these fluids and then I’ll give you the rest of your morphine before you have to go through for the x-ray.”

Dan nodded and watched as she hung a clear plastic bag of fluids up on the metal pole that was attached to the trolley. The bag contained what looked like water, but judging by the letters stating ‘SODIUM CHLORIDE 0.9%’ wasn’t fully water.

The fluids were ran through a tube which was then connected to the water gun in Dan’s hand. He couldn’t fell anything. That was nice, finally something was being done for him that wasn’t painful.

“Right, that’s that running.” Marie murmured as she signed some papers. “Now, morphine then x-ray.”

“What happened to the male nurse who put the thing in Dan’s hand?” Phil asked her curiously as she finished with the paperwork.

“Oh, Steve? He was the one who put the cannula in.” Marie said. “He had to go home as he was getting a bit of a headache, why? Was something wrong?”

“Not at all, he just seemed a little red, I was just hoping he was ok.” Dan said with a wicked grin.

“I’m sure it’s just a headache and he’ll sleep it off.” Marie said with a shrug.

After another stab by yet another needle Dan found himself being wheeled away from Phil to the x-ray department. Was it childish of him to wish that Phil could come to the x-ray department with him? Sure it was a bit immature, but for the past seven years they had been at each other’s side throughout the best and the worst. He just wanted the comfort of Phil beside him.

He was left alone to wait for the Radiographers to come and get him. He lay on the hard trolley and stared up at the off white tiles of the roof. There was nothing to do except think and worry about what was going to happen to him next. How would he cope at home when he was going to practically be an invalid?

Phil would probably help him a bit, Dan wouldn’t even need to ask, but could Dan cope with that?

Could he really spend so much time in very close proximity with his _best friend_ and be absolutely sure that it would be enough? Dan had spent a long time burying and supressing certain feelings and relying on Phil to help him with basic day to day tasks might compromise all of that hard work.

No, he couldn’t think about that right now, he’d avoided it for so long that he was pretty sure that he could keep avoiding it.

“Daniel Howell?” a voice asked.

“Yeah, I’m Dan.” Dan corrected.

“Alright, I’m going to take you through for your X-Rays now, ok?”

That was how Dan found himself in a large room filled with machinery that whirred and clicked. He was simply told to stay still. Yeah, that wouldn’t be a problem, despite the internet’s common beliefs, he wasn’t actually a masochist.

It was a bit isolating to lie there and be submitted to the radiation that would eventually form pictures of his bones whilst the radiographers hid behind a panel.

“Jesus Christ, that must have hurt!” One of them said as they glanced over the screens that showed Dan’s X-Rays. Yes, it had hurt, a lot, and that statement didn’t really fill him with much confidence.

“Send those through to his doctor, I’m happy with them.” The other one said. “They show the damage quite well.”

“Alright.” The other one replied. “That’s us.”

Whilst Dan was  lying in the x-ray room feeling uncomfortably vulnerable, Phil was sitting in the empty bay in the majors department, he knew he looked out of place sitting there with nothing to do but wait for his friend to return.

He was trying not to stare at the people in the other bays, he knew that it was rude, but he couldn’t help peering over curiously every now and then.

It was scary to see. Some people were lying there covered in blood, now that turned his stomach, he hated the sight of blood, and yet somehow that fact hadn’t registered in his mind when he was staring at Dan’s broken leg.

There was also a man covered in wires that monitored his heart as doctors constantly scribbled notes beside him, he was heaving for breath and gasping out declarations of love to his crying wife.

There was a woman who had been stabbed in the arm, she didn’t seem too concerned about that though, she was more interested in cursing at anyone who tried to go near her, Phil was glad that Dan was through in x-ray as he didn’t need to learn some of the words that she was using. Dan’s language was bad enough without some of her additions.

Finally there was a young boy with hair like Phil had had in 2008, he was curled up in a ball of the bed and he had been crying since they’d arrived in the department. Apparently, the boy had tried to overdose on pills and his mother had found him before any serious damage could be done.

It was devastating to sit there and listen to everything that was going on, all the declarations of love and hate, all the pain and fear. It was the worst.

He sat there listening the beeps of the various machines and the muted chatter of the staff and patients around him until finally he saw a familiar figure being wheeled back through to the bay.

Dan was looking fairly disgruntled and almost as pale as Phil himself.

“How did it go?” Phil asked, once they were alone again.

“Well I must’ve done quite a bit of damage if the people who took the X-Rays’ reactions are anything to go by.” Dan grumbled. “Apparently my X-Rays ‘show the damage really well’. Did they seriously study for a degree to say ‘show the damage really well’?”

“That doesn’t sound promising.” Phil agreed. “Let’s wait until the doctor has spoken to you, though. There’s no point getting yourself into a panic when they might have just been exaggerating a bit.”

“Yeah, you're right.” Said Dan, although judging by his expression he wasn’t fully convinced by Phil’s attempt at comfort.

The sat there for thirty minutes longer before a doctor finally came to speak to Dan, and when he did, Dan wished that he hadn’t bothered.

It wasn’t good news, it was awful news, the worst news that Dan felt he could have possibly gotten. He was slightly tempted to lie to the doctor and say that he wasn’t actually Daniel Howell and that the doctor had obviously gotten the wrong person. Except that wouldn’t help things, if anything it would just cause Dan more pain in the long run and he was the only one in the department currently with an immobilised arm and leg.

Three fractures. One simple and two complex. One in the arm and two in the leg. Dan sure didn’t do things half way.

Somehow his good intentions to film a funny three-legged DDR video and ended in him fracturing his ulna, fibula and tibia. He would have face palmed if he wasn’t sitting in front of the doctor.

“You're lucky.” The doctor said. “The ulna fracture – that’s your lower arm – was a very simple fracture, the bone is still aligned perfectly, so all that will have to be done is to apply a plaster cast.”

Lucky. Apparently doctors classed his broken arm as lucky.

“Unfortunately you weren’t so fortunate when it came to that leg of yours.” The doctor continued. “Those breaks were much more complex and even managed to penetrate the skin, due to the amount of movement of the bone, we are going to have to realign it ourselves before we can apply a plaster.”

“Realign it?” Phil asked and Dan was glad that he had because he had wanted to know too but he was afraid that if he spoke his voice would crack.

“Yes, we would do an open reduction and internal fixation.” The doctor said.

“What is that?” Dan asked hoarsely.

“It is when we put you under with a general anaesthetic and then the surgeon makes an incision in your leg near the fracture, they will then realign the bones manually and secure them in place using metal plates and screws. Since your breaks are in the centre of the bone there is a special rod that can be used.” The doctor explained. “After all of that the wound will be sutured closed and a cast applied to the area.”

“How simple.” Dan said shrilly, alerting Phil to the fact that his friend was minutes away from a major freak out.

“How soon will the surgery be done?” Phil asked, quickly trying to get Dan to focus on the simple facts rather than the fact that a surgeon was going to physically manhandle his bones back into place.

“As soon as possible, we like to be quick with this sort of thing as if we wait too long the bone may start to set wrong and it’ll make things so much more difficult in the long run. You’ll be put on the list for emergency theatre, but you’ll be taken through to get the cast fitted on your arm before that.”

 “Right, and how long will Dan have to stay in hospital for?” Phil asked.

“Not long at all,” the doctor said and then he turned to look at Dan, “you’re young, fit and healthy. We would typically expect to keep you in for a night or two and then you will be discharged with advice, painkillers and any aids that you might require.”

“Aids?”

“Well, a physiotherapist will come and assess you, but the chances are that you’ll be given a crutch. You’ll also be recommended to ensure that you absolutely do not weight bear on your right leg.”

“Right.” Dan muttered with a sigh and a mental image of scooting his way up the stairs to their flat on his bottom. That was going to be difficult to explain to the neighbours.

“When did you last eat?” the doctor asked. “I only ask because there are certain rules we have to abide by regarding fluids and diet and anaesthetics.”

“Ten o’clock this morning.” Dan muttered. “For both, I mean. That was the last time I had anything to eat or drink.”

“Right, that’s probably a good thing for the sake of your operation, but I’m going to strongly recommend that you begin to increase the amount of water you're drinking, dehydration isn’t going to speed up your recovery.”

The doctor went through a few more formalities with them before informing them that the surgeon would be through to speak with Dan soon so that he could sign consent forms for the operation.

“How did they take it?” Dan asked quietly, referring to his twitter status.

“You do realise that you can still use your right hand?” Phil asked. “My phone is right beside you, you could literally pick it up and check for yourself.”

“Don’t be mean, I’m dying here.” Dan said forcing his voice to sound weak and thready, but he couldn’t hide the small smirk from appearing as he saw Phil roll his eyes good naturedly.

“Well, there are a lot of people who would agree with you there. A lot of speculation on what deadly disease you have.” Phil said. “Wow, a lot of people seriously think that you have cancer, I can almost hear the fanfiction writing itself.”

“Really?” Dan said. “I don’t know whether to be amused or concerned.”

“You should tell them a bit about what happened just so we don’t cause any of our friends to worry.” Phil said. “PJ actually texted me asking if you're ok, since you aren’t answering your own phone. I’ll let him know what you’ve done.”

“It was a joint effort.” Dan mumbled, not wanting to talk sole responsibility for the fall.

“True, we were joined by tape.” Phil said. “So do you want to tell our viewers the truth? You could always post a selfie of you and your neon orange accessories.”

“No way!” Dan said quickly. “I’m not posting a hospital selfie, I look like a literal spork right now.”

“No, you don’t, you look fine.” Phil said.

It was true too, sometimes Phil would feel a pang in his chest when he looked at Dan, he chalked it up to jealousy most of the time. After all, Dan was good looking and it didn’t matter whether he had dressed up to the nines or just rolled out of bed and was equipped with his curly hobbit hair, he looked fantastic.

So Phil felt that pang again as he looked at Dan, who was obviously tired and in pain with slight curls in his fringe where the sweat that had been produced from the day’s ordeal had caused the job that the straighteners had done to become moot. Dan still looked good, even with the neon orange splints on his arm and leg. It was so unfair.

In the end, Dan got his own way and there was no hospital selfie taken. Instead they decided that Phil would simply tweet ‘@danisnotonfire and you call me the clumsiest! At least I won't be the one walking with crutches, and sorry guys, no videos this week’ and their viewers would probably get the gist of the problem. They would at least figure out that he had injured his leg and that therefore he was not lying in a hospital bed dying from some terminal disease.

There were a few people asking if this would affect their video uploading schedule for a long time which made Dan chuckle, as if he had a schedule. They decided to wait until after the operation to post anything else, as things were still a bit unsure at this moment in time.

Phil wanted to stay at the hospital with Dan and Dan thought that Phil should go home and relax as it had been a stressful day. They eventually compromised and decided that Phil would stay until Dan went for his surgery and then Phil would go back to the flat and pack some clothes and bits and pieces for Dan’s hospital stay. They had agreed that Phil would stay there for the night, as Dan’s operation probably wouldn’t be until later that evening, and then he could return to the hospital the next day.

That was the plan at least, but as far as Phil was concerned, Dan would be under anaesthetic and wouldn’t know if he came straight back.

There was no way he could sleep knowing that his friend was going under the knife, even if it was a relatively common and fairly safe operation.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys, if you hadn't figured out by now, we're in this for the long haul so strap in cause this is probably going to be a pretty lengthy fic. 
> 
> If there are any medical terms you don't understand let me know and I'll explain as best I can <3
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @existentialcatwhiskers


	5. Phone Calls and Fluttery Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took a while, i injured my wrist ice skating and had to type one handed whoops

Phil’s head was fried, completely and totally fried. In fact, he was so out of it that the taxi driver had to ask him three times for his address and even after getting his attention it took a few moments for Phil to actually remember where he lived. He knew that the taxi driver was giving him concerned looks, but then wouldn’t most people after picking up a guy from the hospital who then proceeded to zone out in the back of a taxi?

If Phil was in his position, he would be thinking of every horror movie he had ever seen where the strange passenger turns out to be a serial killer.

“That’s us.” The taxi driver said hesitantly as he pressed a little button on the monitor at the front to display the total cost.

Phil paid quickly, his fingers fumbling against the notes in his rush to get going, he thanked the driver and then let himself into their flat. He paused for a moment leaning back against the door, and he let his head thud against the solid wood and took a deep breath in. The flat was strangely silent, it was unusual after the chaos of the day.

There was mud tracked up the stairs from the shoes of the two paramedics, the office was a mess with all of their filming equipment shoved to the side so that there had been room for the paramedics to fit in, there was a small spot of blood on the carpet, and there was bits of duct tape everywhere. That was going to be fun to clean up, especially if he took into account the fact that the duct tape had become very well stuck to the carpet.

He should probably eat, except he wasn’t that hungry, he was too worried to eat. He needed to pack stuff to take back to Dan, but he didn’t know what to pack, what did a person typically need after having surgery to repair a broken leg? None of Dan’s jeans would fit with a cast as he seemed to like to wear jeans that fit him like a second skin. Did Dan even own any shorts? The last time he had worn them had been in America, and he had spent the whole time cursing them and vowing that they would be going straight in the bin as soon as they were home. Phil didn’t know how serious that threat had been.

He was going to have to rake through Dan’s entire room for those shorts, and they may not even be there. It would be easier to just take some of Phil’s own shorts, they were essentially the same size anyway, and Dan was already constantly stealing his hoodies and jumpers. So shorts, a few t-shirts and what else?

This was impossible, what did people need for their hospital stay other than clothes? Well, knowing Dan, his phone and laptop would be greatly appreciated. So electronics and clothes? Did that mean that he was going to have to go raking through Dan’s underwear drawer? That didn’t sound fun; that sounded creepy.

He needed help.

“Mum! Hey!” Phil exclaimed as he heard the familiar voice coming through the speaker of his mobile.

Alright, he had caved and called his mum, he wouldn’t tell Dan that though, he would totally judge him and tell him that he was overreacting and that it wasn’t a big deal. Just throw some clothes in a bag and be done with it, but no, Phil had to go and phone his mother for advice.

“Hello, how are you?” His mum asked cheerfully, she wasn’t on twitter so she wouldn’t know what was going on yet, unless Martyn had seen and told her.

“I’m alright, I was actually phoning for some advice.” Phil said, pacing back and forth in Dan’s room.

“Advice? Is this for another video game?”

“No, I wish it was.” Phil said with a sigh that caught his mum’s attention straight away. He could have sworn that she had some sort of insane parent superpower that allowed her to somehow psychically know when there was a problem.

“What is it? What happened?” She asked instantly.

“I was, well me and Dan were filming a new video for the gaming channel, and there was a bit of an accident.” Phil said.

“An accident, what sort of an accident?” So Martyn hadn’t seen and told her yet.

“We wanted to film a part two to that three legged DDR video we did, remember?” Phil asked. “You told me off for weeks after that one, said that it was too dangerous and that we were lucky that we hadn’t gotten ourselves hurt.”

“I remember and I can't believe you boys would even think of doing that again!” His mum scolded him.

“I know, I know, it was stupid.” Phil agreed. “Actually it was the stupidest thing we’ve ever done. Dan’s in hospital.”

“Hospital? What? Why?”

“We fell and he took the brunt of it, he broke his arm and his leg.” Phil said, and if his voice sounded a bit thicker than usual then that was just a coincidence.

“Phil…” his mum said faintly, trailing off as though she couldn’t think of what to say to reassure her youngest son.

“He’s in surgery at the moment. For his leg, I mean, his arm was a clean break so they just put a cast straight onto it. He chose black, of course, I can't believe I even thought he would go for another colour. It was his left arm, which is inconvenient but I’m sure he’ll learn to adapt to using his right one for a little while.” Phil said rambling. “It’s his leg that’s the problem, he broke two bones in it and one of them broke through his skin so they have to operate on it to put the bone back in place and then-“

“Phil, stop!” His mum shouted causing his to break off abruptly, how long had she been trying to break through his mumbling for?

“Right, sorry.”

“Listen, honey, I know this is scary, but Dan will be ok.” She said gently. “He’s in the right place, and he’ll wake up from his operation in no time and he’ll feel better for it.”

“I know, I know, but I came home to pack some stuff for him and now I’m back at the flat and I don’t know what to pack. What will he need? He won't be there for long, a few days probably, but what should I take?” Phil asked.

“Loose clothing, nothing tight so that means none of those skin tight legging-jean things he likes. Take old t-shirts that he would usually lounge around in, nothing designer or fancy, clean underwear, his laptop, maybe a good book, some snacks.” His mum said, listing off things that Phil had already thought about. “I’ve heard some sketchy things about hospital food so I would definitely take him some things to eat. Is he still vegan?”

“Yeah, he wanted to try another month.” Phil said with a chuckle.

“Of course he did.” Phil’s mum said with a fond chuckle. “You could also get him one of those cards for the hospital tellies, they’re pretty expensive but it means he can watch his shows and use the internet.”

“I never even thought of that.” Phil said. “It’s a good idea though, he always ends up using his mobile data allowance in the first week and he would be insufferable if he had to go any length of time without checking his twitter or tumblr feed.”

“It’s ok to be worried, you know?” His mum asked gently. “Even though this happens every day to people, it’s still a big deal and surgery isn’t something to take lightly, no one is going to judge you for being anxious about it, if anything Dan was probably really scared too.”

“He didn’t look scared.” Phil said. “I mean he was definitely freaked out and seconds away from breaking down in A&E but it seemed to be more from the pain and stress than fear.”

“Trust me, he was scared. The problem with you boys is that you're both always too focused on trying to make sure that the other one is alright and you don’t let your emotions out.”

“So what do I do?” Phil asked.

“You’re doing everything you can now, you're getting what he needs. There isn’t much else you can do except let the doctors handle this.” His mum said calmly. “They’re professionals, they know what they’re doing, so let them do it.”

“Yeah, you're right.” Phil mumbled.

He still felt useless though, here he was – a twenty nine year old man – on the phone to his mum who was miles away because he didn’t know what to pack for his best friend’s hospital stay, when he was partially at fault for said friend being in hospital in the first place.

“I know you, Phil, I raised you, and I can practically hear that mind of yours running at a hundred miles an hour.” His mum said. “Why don’t you get some sleep before you go back to the hospital? Even just a few hours will do you some good.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Phil muttered and they both knew that that wouldn’t be happening.

“Do you want us to head down there a little earlier?” His mum asked.

“Mmm, no, I don’t think so.” Phil said unsurely. “I think it’s going to be tricky enough to convince Dan to accept my help when he gets home, never mind everyone else crowding around him too, just come when we originally planned and everything should have settled down a bit by then.”

“I knew you’d say that but I had to offer anyway.” He could practically hear his mum shrugging.

Phil chatted for a little while longer and somehow managed to convince his mum that he would be alright going back to the hospital and that he didn’t need to sleep right now, he was too awake to sleep. That was a full on lie, his head felt heavy and fuzzy already, he was going to need to grab a coffee when he got back to the hospital.

He felt better though, he had needed that chat, he had needed someone else’s perspective on the situation, even if it did mean that they were going to get lectured continuously when she visited. She had already given them an entire seminar on the dangers of taping legs together for the sake of a video, so now that she had proof of the risks they would never escape the disapproving lectures.

They could bear the lectures though, because they all knew that she only did it because she cared and even when she disapproved or had concerns about their safety, she was always right there beside them, being as supportive as she could be. It was heart-warming and comforting.

So yes, even at twenty nine, Phil needed his mum.

Phil started shoving things into Dan’s backpack. He tried folding the shirts as best he could but somehow they all ended up looking like they’d been rolled into a ball and then trampled over by a herd of cattle. His folding skills were right down there with his wrapping skills, it would just be weird if he was successful at it; there was a reason why Dan was the one who did all the folding when they had to pack to go somewhere.

He shoved in some clean underwear – feeling a bit creepy as he did so – and a few pairs of his own shorts. Laptop, phone, a tangled ball of various chargers, some of the weird vegan snacks that Dan liked. He looked in the bag, it was a mess, as soon as he handed it to Dan he was going to get it thrown back at him along with some comments that he was nearly thirty and he didn’t even know how to fold a shirt.

Phil laughed quietly to himself. He wished that Dan was there to tease him about his inability to do basic adult tasks, he would give anything to have never picked up that tape. Or even if he had been the one who had gotten hurt, that would’ve been ok too. Phil had broken bones before, he could deal with the aftermath, whereas Dan had only ever broken a pinkie finger on a waterslide, that hardly counted.

The journey back to the hospital was tense with the taxi driver trying to make small talk and Phil being too distracted to answer him appropriately.

“Bit chilly tonight isn’t it?”

“Thanks, but I don’t know.”

Eventually the conversation attempts had ceased and there had been nothing but the thick silence with nothing to cut through it. It was so tangible that Phil swore that if you had given him a knife he would have literally been able to cut through the tension.

Why were taxi drivers so talkative anyway? Usually it wouldn’t bother him so much, in fact he would normally quite enjoy talking to strangers and getting a little perspective into their lives, but he just didn’t have the energy to even comprehend what the driver was saying, he needed to use all of his energy to make sure that he was conscious enough to walk into the hospital and find the right ward that Dan would be going to post op.

“Hey, hey man, dude!” the taxi driver was speaking, Phil suddenly realised. “That’s us, so uh, you going to pay me or?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry.” Phil muttered, shaking his head to try and pull himself together. He thrust some notes at the driver and staggered out of the taxi, he had probably overpaid and most likely looked drunk, but he was back.

This was ok. This was what friends did for each other.

Right?

Of course it was. Any good friend would sacrifice a night’s sleep to sit on a cold, hard, plastic chair and wait countless hours for their friend to come out of surgery, and then sit for more hours by their side as they waited for them to wake up.

It was perfectly logical.

The nurses didn’t agree.

“Do you know what time it is?” a nurse whispered incredulously as Phil asked when Dan would be returning from surgery.

“Um, actually no, I don’t.” Phil said, automatically matching her volume.

“It’s one in the morning.” The nurse informed him.

“Oh, right, is it normal for the operation to take so long? He went for it at half nine.” Phil said, ignoring the small issue of the fact that it was essentially the next day now.

“I am afraid these things all take different amounts of time and that we can't put a number on it, we don’t find out much until it’s time for him to come to the ward, for all we know he could still be in surgery or he may be in recovery right now. It’s just a waiting game.” The tired nurse said. “Look why don’t you go home and get some rest and we can call you in the morning with an update?”

“An update? No, I want to wait here, I have to.” Phil said. “I have some stuff for Dan when he gets back.”

“I can take that to his room, if you’d like?” the nurse asked as though she were doing him a favour.

“Uh, thanks but I’d rather wait and give it to him in person.” Phil had said.

That was how he found himself sitting in the dull, empty day room. Visiting times were over so he couldn’t wait in Dan’s room, even though it was completely empty, which was a bit silly in Phil’s opinion as he couldn’t disrupt a person who wasn’t even there.

Instead he was sitting alone in an uncomfortable chair and clock watching. He had been tempted to read some of the leaflets that adorned the walls but after picking up the first one and seeing a rather graphic drawing of a broken bone, he decided that it wasn’t the best idea to spend his time looking at those things.

He didn’t even realise when he had fallen asleep.

Dan felt as though he had been thrown around by the incredible hulk, his head was fuzzy, his body hurt, and he was unbelievably confused. Soft mint walls surrounded him and his hand seemed to grasp at yellow blankets. Why yellow? He would never sleep in a bed with yellow blankets. There was a beeping noise somewhere to his right that suddenly cut off. Shit, was that a heart monitor? Did he just die?

“Sorry, didn’t mean for you to wake up to that.” A quiet voice said. “Your IV was blocked from the position of your hand and the pump wanted to make sure that the entire hospital knew about it.”

Dan tried to focus on the blue blur, logically his mind told him that it was a nurse and that he was in hospital, but why? He knew why, he just was struggling to remember. Everything felt slow, as though he was treading through waist high mud.

“Don’t worry, take your time.” The nurse said. “The anaesthetic will be having an effect on you still. You’ve been in and out of it for a few hours now.”

He had? He didn’t remember that, he would have thought that he would have remembered waking up before, but then again the way he felt right now he could quite easily believe that he had been in and out of consciousness. It would be so easy for him to just nod off again.

“What time is it?” Dan asked, or tried to ask, it actually came out as a mumbled sigh. Fortunately the nurse seemed to understand what he was trying to ask.

“It’s almost seven in the morning, you’ve slept through most of the night.” The nurse said. “Sadly I can't say the same for your visitor, that boy has some serious dedication.”

Dan blinked a few times and finally managed to focus on the plump woman, who honestly made him think of Mrs Weasley, if Dan was slightly more doped up then he may have actually called her that by accident.

“What?” Dan asked in confusion, who would be waiting for him?

“That tall lad with the dark hair, he’s snoring in the day room, finally nodded off after three.” The nurse said. “We told him to go home and get some rest, but he was pretty adamant that he had to stay.”

“Phil?” Dan mumbled. “I told him to go home, he was meant to get some rest.”

“I’m afraid he didn’t listen to you then. Do you want me to tell him to leave?” The nurse asked.

“What? No, of course not.” Dan said, his speech still slurred but slightly more understandable as he began to wake up more. “Can I see him?”

“Well, it’s not actually visiting time,” The nurse said hesitantly, “but, seen as you're in a single room and he’s waited the entire night, I suppose I can let him in for a little while.”

“Thank you.” Dan said.

The nurse smiled and checked him over quickly, Dan was sharp getting used to having his blood pressure taken, and the temperature probe in his ear was no longer a surprise every time it happened to invade his personal space.

He was also able to see the cast on his leg for the first time, it was black, just like he’d asked for. He was kind of glad for its presence as he didn’t think that he could stand to look at the bruised mess that he was sure his leg was. It ached but it was tolerable, he guessed that he must have had some pretty strong painkillers through the water gun in his hand.

The nurse left and Dan was left with his own thoughts, not for long though as another figure soon appeared in the doorway.

Phil looked, well, he looked absolutely awful. His hair was sticking up in every direction, he had giant black bags under his eyes which were also red and bloodshot, he must have fallen asleep with his contacts in. He was wearing the same clothes as he had yesterday, and they were creased and rumpled from his night in the uncomfortable chair.

“Hey.” He said brightly, despite his appearance. “How are you feeling?”

“Weird.” Dan mumbled, it was true, everything felt strange and fuzzy and he wasn’t entirely sure that this was all real, was he still under the anaesthetic? Was this all a bizarre dream? “Why are you here?”

“You don’t want me here?” Phil asked, trying unsuccessfully to hide the hurt in his voice.

“No, yes, wait, that came out wrong.” Dan mumbled. “I do want you here, but I also wanted you to go home and relax for a bit, you didn’t have to waste your time sitting in this place.”

“It wasn’t a waste of time, I wanted to be here.” Phil said gently.

_I wanted you here too, really._ Dan thought to himself, but he didn’t say it out loud, that would have been weird. He shouldn’t be so dependent on his friend, plus saying that would probably creep Phil out.

“Still, it must have been pretty boring for you.” Dan muttered.

“Nah, I managed to fall asleep eventually, I just wish I had brought my glasses.” Phil said wistfully. “I want to take these contacts out but I’ll become a mole if I do.”

“Won’t keeping them in tear your eyeballs to shreds?” Dan asked.

“Uh, I hope not.” Phil said looking far less concerned than Dan thought he should be. “Anyway, if I get admitted to hospital I can just ask to share this room, it looks big enough for two beds, don’t you think?”

“Of course, we could film an undertale video or something, that would pass the time.” Dan laughed, as he tried to ignore the warm, fluttery feeling in his chest at the idea of sharing a room with Phil.

He needed to chill, he’d shared a room with Phil before, many times in fact. They used to share a room all the time when they’d first met and Dan would travel to Phil’s house to stay with him, they even shared hotel rooms to this day. So why was he feeling so strange at the prospect of sharing a room with his best friend?

Maybe it was all the drugs he’d been pumped with, they must have screwed with his head a bit. As soon as he was back home and on slightly weaker painkillers then surely things would go back to normal. He would stop thinking about Phil so much and the weird, warm, tingly feeling would go away.

For some reason it felt familiar, as though it was something he had felt before, something bittersweet and long forgotten. It was strange and although he wanted to get back to his normal life and forget about the feeling, he also felt a sense of loss, as though he was about to turn down the opportunity of a lifetime.

He shook his head slightly and gave Phil an amused smile as he began talking about how he’d phoned his mum for advice on what to bring to Dan, he didn’t mention how touched he was that Phil had been so concerned about bringing the right things.

“You're such a turnip.” Dan had simply said fondly as Phil admitted that he had intended to hide that little bit of information from Dan because it was embarrassing that he had felt the need to call his mum for advice on packing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk, i wasnt completely happy with this chapter, it kinda feels a bit like a filler until dan comes home. hopefully i managed to lay the foundations for the building of their relationship a little. 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @existentialcatwhiskers where i *might* be posting some fluffy christmassy one shots 
> 
> thanks for reading friends <3 xx


	6. Home Sweet Home

“No. Nope. No way.”

“Dan, come on, just get in the chair.”

“No.”

Phil sighed and ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the tips slightly in frustration. Dan was being completely and totally unreasonable, and it didn’t matter how many times Phil had tried to reason with him, he was just being cantankerous.

“Just get in the bloody chair, Dan.” He groaned for the trillionth time that morning.

“I am not an invalid and I am not sitting in that monstrosity.” Dan said resolutely whilst folding his arms, or trying to fold them at least, it wasn’t easy for him to do so with the bulky cast covering his left arm and it made his little display seem less effective and more childish if anything.

“The nurses said you had to if you want to leave.” Phil said, he felt as though all he had been doing was repeating himself constantly and as much as he wished that it was at least doing something, it wasn’t. They were going around in circles.  

“I’ve been given a crutch, I can use that.” Dan said, stabbing his finger in the air violently in the direction of the crutch, as though Phil couldn’t see it.

“The crutch is for short distances and transfers only.” Phil said, repeating the Physiotherapist’s words like a parrot. “It’s for moving from one chair to another chair, or getting in and out of a car, walking short distances in the flat, and even then you should have someone with you to support you when you need it. You can't walk out of the hospital at the moment, so just accept it and sit in the wheelchair.”

“It’s not that far to the front of the hospital, I can manage just fine.” Dan muttered stubbornly. “And you didn’t need to memorise that bit of information.”

“How would you know? You came here in an ambulance and have been wheeled everywhere you’ve had to go in a bed.” Phil commented snidely. “I’m the one who has walked in here every day, I’m pretty sure that I know I'm right when I say that you're going to need that wheelchair.”

“No one asked you to.” Dan grumbled.

“That’s not the point right now.” Phil said tiredly, pressing his knuckles into his cheeks. 

This was going to test both of their patience, he could already tell. With his own willingness to follow the doctors’ and nurses’ instructions and Dan’s inability to admit that maybe he did need some help to do daily tasks, they were in for a ride. Dan hadn’t even left the hospital room yet, he was sitting on the side of the bed, reluctantly wearing Phil’s shorts – which had taken him thirty five minutes to put on as he refused to accept help from the staff – and holding his good hand out for the crutch that Phil was cradling possessively to his chest to stop Dan from lunging for it.

“Give it here, Phil.” Dan demanded.

“No, get in the wheelchair.” Phil retorted.

“How can I get in the wheelchair without the crutch?” Dan asked with a smug grin.

Damn, Phil hadn’t actually considered that, Dan needed the crutch to move off the bed but if he gave him the crutch then there was a chance that Dan would just walk to the front door without pausing to listen to Phil’s objections and therefore causing himself more damage and pain in the long term. It wasn’t like he could tackle Dan if he tried to do so, knowing their luck another limb would be broken.

“If I give you the crutch, you’re going to walk out of here.” Phil said.

“If you don’t give it to me then I’ll be stuck on this bed forever.” Dan moaned melodramatically.

“Well, not forever, I’m pretty sure they’d get sick of you eventually and just chuck you out the back.” Phil muttered.

“Rude.” Dan muttered.

“Look, we’ve been arguing over this for nearly twenty minutes, would you please just sit in the chair already?” Phil said.

Another fifteen minutes passed before a smug looking – slightly disgruntled – Dan was sitting in the wheelchair being pushed along the hospital corridor.

“That was blackmail.” Phil muttered quietly so that only Dan could hear.

“Not blackmail, a bargain.” Dan corrected.

“You brought up The Sacred Deal, you planned this whole thing just for that didn’t you?” Phil asked.

“Of course not, I just saw an opportunity.” Dan said. “I really wasn’t planning on getting in this chair at all, but I guess The Deal is worth sacrificing my dignity.”

The Deal was something that they had invented all the way back in 2009 when they had first met. It was sacred and had never been broken to this day. It was something that had been created between the two of them when Phil had wanted to go out to a Halloween party but Dan wanted to stay home and play video games. In the end Phil had promised Dan a free pass so that Dan could ask him for one favour and no matter what it was he couldn’t say no.

In the end Dan had asked him to edit one of his videos because he couldn’t be bothered to do it, but ever since then The Deal had become a thing that was very much desired but getting the other person to offer it was like finding a rare Pokémon.  

In the seven years that they had known each other it had been offered less than ten times. When Phil had first proposed it Dan had turned around with wide eyes and stared at his idol while loudly asking whether this was a weird sex kink thing, right in the middle of the busiest shopping centre in Manchester. It was safe to say that they received quite a few strange looks after that and Phil had been very quick to say that it was purely innocent. Their cheeks had been red for hours after that.

“What are you going to use it on then?” Phil asked.

“No idea yet, I think I'm going to save it for something good.” Dan replied with a thoughtful look.

“You don’t even know?” Phil exclaimed.

“No, I told you that this wasn’t premeditated.” Dan said, with a roll of his eyes for good measure, not that Phil could see him doing that, it was the thought that counted.

“You’re going to lord this over me for ages aren’t you?”

“Of course.”

Phil was always quick to cash in on his favour, opting to get the use of it sooner rather than later, he was too impatient to wait until he actually needed it and tended to waste it on irrelevant things such as getting Dan to do the dishes when he couldn’t be bothered or getting out of doing the weekly grocery shopping. Whereas Dan was more careful, he would sit on it for months, waiting for the perfect opportunity to use The Deal so that it had the maximum satisfaction for him, Dan tended to opt towards getting out of editing or not having to go to social affairs.

Which meant that Phil would probably be waiting a long time for Dan to stop hinting at having The Deal in his pocket. He was going to have to suffer through so many hints that he could use it at any moment, it was going to be infuriating.

Getting into the taxi was another fun adventure, Phil wanted to help Dan as much as he could but his help was being shoved away as Dan had too much dignity to accept that he wasn’t going to realistically manage to climb into the taxi all by himself. He ended up flopping backwards – painfully – into the backseat of the taxi, his crutch swinging up and nearly hitting Phil in the face.

“Shit, sorry.” Dan apologised as soon as he noticed how close he had been to breaking Phil’s nose, the last thing they needed was more broken bones.

It was a blessing in disguise, in Phil’s opinion because as soon as Dan had realised his error, he had decided to accept help and so with a lot of pushing, shoving, and cursing on Dan’s behalf, they were seated in the taxi. Phil reckoned that the driver was regretting stopping for them.

Getting out of the taxi had been easier, but that didn’t matter to them as they stood at the bottom of the stairs to their apartment and realised that somehow Dan was going to have to get up them.

“I could drag you up in the wheelchair?” Phil offered. The wheelchair was a loan from the hospital, they were expected to return it as soon as Dan was able to walk around on his own, Dan was adamant that it was being returned in the exact same condition they received it in, because he wasn’t riding around London in it, whereas Phil was already planning field trips. That would not be happening.

“No fucking way.” Dan said resolutely. “You’ll drop me.”

“I won't drop you.” Phil said.

“It’s not going to happen.”

“Right fine, shuffle up on your bum then.” Phil sighed.

“What? No!”

“I’m not coming up with many more ideas here, Dan.” Phil admitted. “So just pick something and get in there.”

After a long time spent arguing, Dan finally gave in and shuffled his way up the steps on his bum, using his left leg and right arm to propel him each step.

“If only the internet could see me now.” He muttered as he took a breather half way up the stairs, who knew that shuffling up steps could be so damn tiring.

“I can make that a reality.” Phil teased, waving his phone in the air.

“Don’t you dare, I’ll find a way to get my revenge.” Dan promised. “Actually, don’t. I haven’t told anyone why I was in hospital and they all probably think that I was only there for the one day, I don’t want them to find out because of me shuffling up the stairs on my backside.”

“I think there are a few theories going around that it’s something drastic, people have noticed your absence online.” Phil said. 

“Something drastic.” Dan chuckled. “I swear whenever something happens, everyone thinks I have a terminal illness. I'm so glad that my grandparents aren’t online, they’d believe that sort of stuff, I’d be getting gift baskets in the mail by the dozen.”

“It’s fine, just tweet that you're finally home.” Phil suggested.

“No way, that would make everything worse, can you imagine it? ‘OMG! Dan you were in hospital that long? Are you dying? RIP’.” Dan joked.

“Come on, it wouldn’t be that bad. You could just tell them why you were in hospital in the first place. It’s not that uncommon, people break bones all the time.” Phil shrugged, before poking Dan’s right shoulder. “Come on, keep shuffling, we don’t have all day.”

“Yes, we do, it’s still early and we have literally no plans this afternoon.” Dan retorted.

“Yeah, well, the longer you take, the higher the chance is of the neighbours walking out and seeing your awkward bum shuffle up the stairs.” Phil said smartly, causing Dan to grimace at the truth of it.

“Are you really going to stand there and watch me the whole time?” Dan asked.

“What sort of friend would I be if I left you and you ended up rolling back down the stairs and breaking your neck or something?” Phil asked. “Plus, how would I know whether or not you decided to ask for help?”

“I’ll break your neck.” Dan mumbled under his breath before speaking up. “I won't need any help.”

Dan was right. After an annoyingly long amount of time spent shuffling up the stairs he found himself sitting on the sofa in the lounge, leaning back into his sofa crease with a light sheen of sweat on his forehead.

“Is that what going to the gym feels like?” He asked himself.

He was so relieved to be back in his crease, it had never been so comfy to him, he stretched as best he could and closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of being home. Usually he would complain about how his back was being damaged by the awkward position and he was going to be horribly crippled by the end of the year, but not today, today he was glad for the debilitating couch.

“You look comfy.” An amused voice said, closer than Dan expected.

His eyes flew open only to see a pair of greenish bluey ones staring back at him through lenses, it occasionally disorientated him, looking at Phil while he was wearing glasses, if the light caught them at a certain angle then Dan could see his own reflection and was baffled that he was seeing what Phil was seeing for a moment in time. He often wondered if that ever happened to Phil as well. Did he ever get jumpscared by the reflection of his own eyes?

“I am.” Dan mumbled. “I never truly appreciated how comfy this couch is.”

“We hate this couch, we’re constantly talking about getting a new one.” Phil reminded him.

“I know, but it’s nice to be able to bend my back into impossible shapes without having anyone lecture me about my spine’s health.” Dan sighed.

“I would reckon that your spine was probably grateful for the break, even if you weren’t.” Phil chuckled, holding out a cup to Dan. “Here, I made tea.”

“Thanks.” Dan said taking the cup in his good hand. It was the Hello Kitty mug, of course.  

 “How’s the arm and leg?” Phil asked staring at Dan suspiciously.

Dan internally groaned. When the nurse had discharged him, she had gone through her massive list of dos and don’ts and which medications to take, when to take them, extra ones to take as required in case his pain wasn’t fully covered by the scheduled medications. She had listed the usual adverse effects of the medications he had been prescribed, namely nausea, vomiting, and death.

Of course, throughout her entire lecture, Phil had been taking notes on his phone and clarifying every dosage and time twice, Dan had simply zoned out and allowed for Phil to enter full on mother mode, which was fortunate as now Dan had someone to remind him to take his medication which he would have most likely forgotten. On the other hand, judging by Phil’s intense gaze so close to his face, he was going to be constantly pestered for pain scores and questions about his wellbeing.

Dan stared at Phil, his mouth suddenly going dry as though he had just been pulled up on a stage and asked to give a speech in front of hundreds of thousands of people.

It didn’t make any sense, why was he feeling nervous? All Phil had done was ask him a question, a question that he had still to answer, but somehow that had made him feel the same butterflies in his stomach that he had felt when he was on the train to meet Phil for the first time ever.

It was stupid, he’d known Phil for seven years, he shouldn’t be feeling nervous around him. They’d done so much together, they’d toured the world together, shared so many important moments in each other’s lives and had been there for one another, even through all of the good times and the bad times. So why was he so damn dry mouthed right now?

“Dan!” Phil said loudly.

Dan took a sip of his tea, it was scalding hot but it did the job of wetting his mouth enough so that he could talk.

“They’re fine, I’m fine.” He said. “They gave me some pretty strong stuff to tide me over until we got home.”

“You don’t look fine.” Phil said suspiciously, making Dan wonder what his face must be showing, he tried to school his expression into something more casual.

“I am, it’s just weird being home, but it’s a good weird.” Dan lied.

“Right.” Phil said, still not looking completely convinced.

“Honestly.” Dan lied. “I was just enjoying my sofa crease and trying to think of a way to tell our viewers what has happened.”

“Just get it over with and you can answer any questions in a liveshow at some point.” Phil suggested.

After more deliberation than strictly necessary, they decided that Phil would tweet ‘@danisnotonfire only been home for 15 minutes and he's already in his sofa crease’ and attach a picture of Dan on his laptop. They had tried to think of a better way, after all their conversation in the stairwell pretty much summed up why this wasn’t the best way to break the new, but they came up blank and Dan was too tired to think of something better.

“I’m wearing ugly shorts.” Dan groaned as he looked at the picture Phil had taken.

“Hey, they’re my shorts.” Phil whined.

“Case and point.” Dan replied.

“At least I didn’t wear a potato sack in a video.”

“It’s yeezy, Phil, yeezy!” Dan said in exasperation, they had had this argument so many times. It wasn’t a potato sack, it was a fashion statement.

“If it makes people photoshop your face onto an actual sack of potatoes then you need to reassess your fashion choices.” Phil muttered.

“It’s yeezy.”

“Anyways!” Phil said cutting off his friend’s yeezy tirade. “Can I post this?”

“What the hell? Go for it. It’s not like I'm going to get a better picture, not in these shorts.” Dan muttered.

“Potato sack.” Phil reminded him.

“Yeezy.” Dan said before doing a double take. “Oh my fucking shit!”

“What?” Phil asked quickly, his heart jumping into his throat as he began thinking the worst.

“My hair is curly!” Dan practically yelled.

“Really? That’s it?” Phil asked as he held a hand over his heart which was racing. He had gotten himself into such a panic over that?

“This is the worst thing in the world.” Dan said mournfully as he looked at the picture.

“I’m pretty sure no one is going to care that your hair is curly.” Phil said with a laugh.

“This is why all hospitals should come equipped with straighteners.” Dan sighed before looking sadly at their ceiling, Phil rolled his eyes at the exaggerated melodrama.

“Your phone will probably explode soon.” Phil warned him. “We haven’t told our friends what happened yet, so they’ll want to know.”

“Oh shit, why didn’t we tell them?” Dan asked.

“I forgot to, and I guess you did too, I think they’ll understand; it’s been a chaotic week.” Phil said.

Dan unlocked his phone and scrolled through tumblr and twitter, there was a lot of people wanting to know what the hell had happened. There was a lot of speculation too, somehow car accident and falling down the stairs seemed to be top of the list.

He did see one post on tumblr that made him laugh.

_maybe phil just got sick of dans stalkerish ways and decided to try and throw him out the window._

He was tempted to reblog it but he knew that if he did then he would have to face the few people who would actually believe that and attack Phil for the joke. Phil didn’t deserve that.

“What are you laughing at?” Phil asked.

“Someone thinks that you finally got sick of my shit and chucked me out a window.” Dan explained.

“Don’t tempt me.” Phil muttered, but Dan could see the smile pulling at his lips as he turned his head to the side and looked back at his own phone.

“I should probs reply to you.” Dan said looking at the tweet Phil had posted.

“Yeah, clear some of the drama.”

‘@AmazingPhil we are never attempting 3 legged ddr ever again’

It was ten minutes later when a notification came through on Dan’s phone. Dan usually only got notifications when it was a friend who had tweeted at him directly, so he fumbled for his phone to see who it was.

It was Felix, who had simply sent him a shit ton of laughing face emojis and an ambulance one. Of course he had, Dan shouldn’t have expected any less of Felix.

“I’m being cyberbullied.” Dan pouted.

“You deserve it.” Phil replied, not even asking who was ‘bullying’ him or why.

“Mean.”

“Really though, what did you expect when you admitted to the internet that you broke your arm and leg playing DDR?” Phil asked him with a laugh.

“Wow, rude.” Dan muttered. “It’s one thing to be bullied online but it’s a whole new thing to be bullied in person by someone who’s supposed to be your friend.”

Phil just smirked at his expression. It was rather amusing, and he felt as though he was allowed to laugh because he had seen Felix’s tweet and knew that it wasn’t really cyberbullying, as much as Dan liked to claim that it was. You could send Dan the poop emoji and he would jokingly declare it to be cyberbullying.

Phil watched Dan carefully as he vigorously tapped at his phone screen, probably replying to that tweet, and smiled. His roommate really did seem to be alright, he didn’t look as though he was hiding the fact that he was in pain, no he really seemed quite content.

Sure, he looked tired and slightly pale, but the doctors had said that that was quite normal, and that as long as Dan made sure to take his medications, eat properly, and get plenty of rest then he would be alright.

So now Phil was tasked with the challenge of ensuring that Dan was properly nourished, hydrated and rested, he was half expecting to have had a glass of water chucked in his face by the end of the first week.

It was definitely not going to be easy, Dan was pretty set in his ways and rarely changed unless he was going through another vegan phase. Props to him though, as Phil was fairly sure that he wouldn’t be able to go vegan, he wouldn’t even be able to go vegetarian. He enjoyed meat too much.

Although the look on the nurses’ face in the hospital had been worth it, she had asked if Dan had any special dietary requirements and when he had said that he was vegan she looked completely horrified, as though he had said that he was allergic to cheese and then proceeded to demolish a deep dish pizza in front of her. She didn’t say much about it, to her credit, she simply said that they’d notify the kitchen and order vegan meals for him, but Phil could tell that her mind was floundering. He wondered if they really hadn’t had that many vegan patients before.

“When are you eating meat again?” Phil asked.

“Next Wednesday, why?” Dan replied, glancing up from his phone.

“Well, if I'm making sure that you're eating a balanced diet, I need to know when you're going to let me force you to eat a steak, got to keep those iron levels up.” Phil said.

“Phil, I don’t expect you to cook my every meal.” Dan sighed rolling his eyes.

“Be realistic, do you really think I'm going to let you pull up a chair in front of the oven so that you can cook with one hand?”

“Yes.” Dan muttered stubbornly.

“Eh, no.”

“You can't stop me.” Dan argued.

“Actually I can, you're not going to be able to get very far with two casts on.” Phil commented.

“Sure I will.” Dan said with a glare, but it lacked any heat as they both knew that Phil was right. Dan wouldn’t last ten minutes standing in front of the stove.

Phil watched as Dan turned his glower towards his phone, opting to interact with online people rather than arguing. Phil forced down a sigh, it was only the first day home and there was already going to be problems, especially if Dan really though that he was capable of doing things like cooking. Next thing Phil knew, he would be trying to hobble to the shop to buy some more milk, he was really going to have to keep an eye out.

It was like having a two year old child in a house designed by Jigsaw, he was going to need eyes in the back of his head.

“Hey, did you watch the next episode of Yuri On Ice when you were in hospital?” Phil asked, trying to find some neutral ground.

“No, I was waiting till I was home so we could watch it together.” Dan answered. “Did you watch it without me?”

“No, of course not.” Phil said, rolling his eyes at the absurdity. “I was waiting for you too.”

They settled down to watch the new episode, Phil drew the blinds to try and make the room a bit darker, and turned down the lights. It was comforting to be able to do this, it was familiar and Phil let out a breath that he didn’t realise he had been holding.

Dan was here.

He was really here, he was home, he was safe. He didn’t even realise how tense he had been while Dan was in hospital, and it had dredged up some dark questions in his mind, like what was going to happen to him when Dan met someone special, what would happen when Dan decided that it was time they went their separate ways?

Phil didn’t want to think about it but he couldn’t stop himself, the entire time that Dan had been away, the flat had felt colder and bigger, too big for one person, and without Dan’s clutter filling up the spaces between Phil’s possessions, the apartment would have been practically bare.

It wouldn’t be their flat – their home – if they weren’t both there.

No, he couldn’t allow himself to think about that now, Phil was here, they were both here, on the sofa watching anime like they normally did.

Phil glanced at Dan, who was singing along to the theme tune like he usually did, his eyes looked darker in the dim light but they stood out somehow, glinted from the colours on the tv, it seemed like they were shining or shimmering. Phil smiled, he wouldn’t think about the bad, not right now, not when he had everything he needed in his life.  

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :) please let me know what you thought, I love reading all your comments, they really make my day! <3 
> 
> follow me on tumblr @existentialcatwhiskers :) I kind of feel like writing a festive oneshot for christmas so send me some prompts if theres anything you want me to write. 
> 
> thanks for reading lovelies.   
> next chapter will have more development of the relationship (maybe a visit from phil's family - not sure if that's next or in a few chapters time)


	7. Shower Shenanigans

Dan woke up first the next morning, for once. It wasn’t a pleasant experience; his head was pounding, there was a dull ache in his arm and leg and he could practically feel his the matted mess that his hair must be. With the awkward bulky casts it was next to impossible for his to lie on his side like he usually would, so he was stuck sleeping on his back and had ended up staring at the ceiling for most of the night, which was not how he wanted to spend his night. Whenever he couldn’t sleep he felt a sense of loss, he mourned the sleep that he had lost.  

Technically he supposed to walk around using his crutch unless Phil was with him to make sure he didn’t stumble over it, but from the silence in the flat Dan could tell that he was still asleep – he would have been making a racket if he was up and moving as he was the noisiest person that Dan had ever met, and Dan had met a lot of people.

Fortunately for Dan, this meant that he was going to be able to sneak his way to the bathroom for a shower, he had really wanted one last night after getting home from the hospital so that he could wash away the clinical feeling that seemed to cover him after his stay in the ward, but when he had declared that he was going to get ready for bed last night, Phil had stood up and said that he was feeling tired too and that he’d give Dan a hand before he retired for the night.

Dan of course had instantly turned red and started spluttering about not needing any help, he was twenty five years old, thank you very much, and he had been dressing himself for bed for twenty years now, he could manage to manoeuvre the crutch well enough to continue doing so.

Phil had naturally told Dan to stop being ridiculous, he wasn’t going to let Dan fall and break his neck for the sake of his pride, not after the doctors had done so much work fixing his arm and leg. So Dan had tried his best to concentrate on walking with his crutch and making sure that he didn’t put any pressure on his broken leg, and he tried his most to try not to focus on the feeling of Phil’s hand on the small of his back, steadying him.

It was strange, his hand fit there so easily, almost as though it was designed for Dan, but that was silly to think, Phil was his friend but he wasn’t _his._

Dan had spent too much time thinking over the past week, it was hard not to really, after all he had spent so much time being unable to move without assistance which really gave him too much time to dwell on things that were better left forgotten in the past.

Dan had spent a lot of time thinking about his younger self back in 2008 and 2009, when he was just a fan of YouTube and wasted all his free time watching videos and wishing that he could climb inside the screen and talk to all the people he admired so much. He had been such a massive fan of AmazingPhil, in fact he may have even had a tiny crush on him.

Phil hadn’t helped matters either, back then he had been such a flirty little shit and Dan had found himself constantly feeling flustered and he could have sworn that if anyone had seen him then they would have assumed that he rosacea as he was permanently blushing from some of Phil’s comments and mannerisms. He would wait anxiously for the days when he could travel to Manchester to see Phil in person rather than just on his laptop screen, especially as their parents both had pretty crappy internet connections and the skype sessions would always end up crashing leaving them with the most atrociously horrifying screenshots of each other that they would send each other and threaten to upload to dailybooth.

Dan had spent so much time secretly pining after his idol, even after he moved to Manchester to go to university and even when they had moved in together. He would never have dreamed of saying anything though, not when there was so much going on in their lives, and there was the risk of ruining his friendship with the one person who understood him better than even his family.

He had finally forced himself to try and give up on his feelings after they had moved to London in 2012. It had been hard to do, especially as he was starting to worry that his over three year long crush was actually so much more than just a crush, but it was necessary. They both had so much going on in their lives, their channels were just taking off, they had a radio show, more people were interested in their lives than ever before, and it was just so much. He couldn’t put Phil through the added pressure of knowing that his best friend wanted more than just friendship, their viewers were already convinced that there was something going on.

Unfortunately in his haste to try and force away his feelings, he pushed away Phil too, there was a tension between them for a while as Dan tried to prove to himself that he wasn’t in love- no, that he didn’t have a crush on Phil.

Their subscribers had dubbed it 2012 Phan and often made references to it online, comparing their behaviour today to their behaviour back then, which was kind of unfair for Phil because he was just confused and responding to Dan’s sudden coldness towards him and he still had no idea why it had all changed so much back then.

Dan didn’t mean to be so cold and distant, really, but he had already dropped out of uni and was dealing with the aftermath of that, and he couldn’t bear to fail at anything else. He didn’t want to fail Phil, or fail YouTube or the radio or anything else. Dropping out of uni had made him feel emotionally lighter, sure, but it had also made him feel like an idiot who wasn’t even smart enough to get a degree. He couldn’t stick it out at uni, so what made him think he could make a good Youtuber?

That didn’t matter to him now though, not when he had a book and a tour and a successful YouTube channel; he was happy and living in London with his best friend, he had proved to himself that he could do it. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have a law degree, in fact he was glad that he had dropped out and things had changed to be the way they were now.

“Stop it.” Dan muttered out loud to himself, there was no point dwelling on this. He would never be able to have a relationship with Phil, entertaining the idea was just masochistic and unnecessary.

He needed to get his head screwed on properly and stop thinking about things that would never happen.

He needed to focus on here and now and what he needed right now was a shower.

A _private_ shower.

While Phil was only trying to help, there was something about being escorted to your room and then waited on while you changed that was demeaning. Credit where it was due, Phil did at least turn around and face the wall while Dan stripped down to his boxers and clambered into his bed. It was ungraceful and clumsy, and he had to lift his leg in with his good hand but he was in bed at last.

“I’ll have my phone on through the night, so just text or call if you need help getting up.” Phil had said, placing Dan’s laptop and phone on the bed with him.

“I’ll be alright, really, just get some sleep.” Dan had told him, trying to hide his frown at the dark blue circles under Phil’s eyes.

That was another reason why Dan wanted to shower on his own. Not only did Phil really need to get some sleep and stop worrying so much about things that were out of his control, but Dan didn’t want to be the one to wake him up, not today. Phil had been really good at visiting Dan in the hospital and he got up early every day to make sure that he could get a taxi to the hospital and beat traffic to be there in time for visiting hours.

So really, Phil couldn’t be mad at him, he was just trying to help him get some more sleep.

Standing up felt dangerous, he fumbled with his crutch trying make sure that he was standing safely, everything felt so far away from him, why was he so tall? It just reminded him of how far he was going to end up falling if he lost his balance.

That wasn’t the worst thing though, what was worse was that he had no idea how he was going to get his clothes and towels to the bathroom.

Eventually he managed to balance everything on the top of his cast and he hobbled his way to the shower, despite everything he had said, it turned out that Phil being with him was actually useful, he didn’t realise how much support that simple hand on his back had had.

Finally he made it to the shower and dumped all his stuff unceremoniously on the floor with a sigh of relief, that wasn’t too bad, he had made it, he survived.

Phil woke up to a loud crash. He jolted upright in his bed, one hand jumping up to cover his racing heart and the other fumbling blindly for his glasses. His mind was instantly racing, what the heck was that noise? Had a car veered off the road and driven into their building? He had told Dan that there was too much traffic in London and they were going to end up being killed by a car, and he was right. A car had driven through the wall and now the building was going to collapse and kill them.

He paused his flailing in his bed sheets to listen for the sounds of chaos that would indicate his impending doom, but he couldn’t hear anything, the flat was silent and Phil began to sheepishly wonder whether he had just overreacted and dreamed of the noise.

Maybe nothing had happened at all, his imagination was always running wild and maybe that was all that had happened, his mum had always warned him about putting nutmeg in his evening coffee. She had always said that spices and especially nutmeg could cause intense dreams and nightmares, maybe she was right. He took his glasses off again and pushed his face back into his pillow to try and force his way back into sleep.

Sleep wouldn’t return, Phil guessed that it must have had something to do with the fact that he had woken up so abruptly, his racing heart needed to settle down before sleep could return.

He tossed and turned for a few minutes before fumbling for his glasses again and his phone so that he could check the time.

_08:18_

Huh, that was unexpected, he felt too tired for it to already be morning, but if he couldn’t sleep then he was just as well to get up and have some breakfast, maybe he could talk Dan into having an earlier night tonight.

Crap, Dan. Phil double checked and there were no text messages or missed calls, so Dan must still be asleep, thank god. He had started to panic and he had thought that he’d slept too long and Dan had been stranded in his bed waiting for help. Phil had tried to remind himself that the entire time Dan was in the hospital he would have been woken up at about 07:30 and it would probably take him a few days to get back into his habit of waking up long after breakfast. Why exactly did Dan care if Phil stole his cereal when he was never awake in time for breakfast anyway?

Phil felt like a zombie as he shuffled his way out of his bedroom, he really needed his morning coffee, he paused to knock on Dan’s door.

“Dan? You awake?” he whispered.

There was no answer, but the door wasn’t shut fully so when Phil knocked it swung open revealing an empty room.

“Dan?” Phil called out a little louder, the crutch was missing and Dan’s phone was still charging on the bedside table, so nothing sinister had happened, it seemed that Dan had simply decided to get up on his own rather than waiting for Phil.

Phil would probably find him lounging in his sofa crease and watching bad early morning telly and acting as though he hadn’t done anything wrong. Except, Dan wasn’t in the lounge, he wasn’t in his sofa crease, so where was he? Phil had been ready to lecture him on moving around on his own when he could hurt himself, but now he was just plain worried.

“Dan?” he shouted louder, there was muffled cursing from the bathroom which caught his attention straight away. “Dan?”

“Don’t come in.” Dan’s voice was higher than usual as he shouted his commands from where he was lying on the floor of the bathtub.

He could hear Phil pacing outside the door and spewing out a continuous litany of questions, was he hurt? What happened? Why didn’t he get Phil for help? What on earth possessed him to think he could do this alone? Why was he in the bathroom? Did he shower alone? Did he get his casts wet?

“Phil calm down for a minute, please.” Dan called out.

The pacing stopped but Dan could have sworn that he could hear Phil breathing heavily on the other side of the door, an image of Phil standing with his ear pressed against the door came into his mind and he had to stifle a laugh, this wasn’t a funny situation. Plus, Phil didn’t have his face pressed against the glass door, he would have been able to see if he did.

Dan fumbled over the side of the bath and somehow managed to hook a towel with the tips of his fingers, it was clumsy and uncoordinated but somehow Dan managed to wrap the towel around his waist inside the bath tub. It immediately drew up the water that was left in the tub from his shower so that he was sitting in a wet towel, but that wasn’t important, he could change his towel once he was out the bath.

“What’s going on in there, Dan?” Phil called, sounding minutes away from breaking down the door.

“I just slipped getting out of the shower and I’m stuck in the bath.” Dan confessed.

“Why didn’t you wait for me?” Phil asked in exasperation.

“I’m perfectly capable of taking a shower.” Dan said.

“Obviously not.” Phil retorted.

“Your smart arse remarks aren’t helping.” Dan snapped.

“Oh, what? Now you want my help?” Phil asked. “It’s not like I’ve been offering it to you every other second, just to be shoved off because you ‘can do it yourself’.”

Dan winced. He had been doing that, hadn’t he? Phil had been nothing but kind and generous, offering to do everything and anything that Dan needed, and yet Dan had kept pushing his help away and insisting that he was perfectly capable of doing everything on his own.

In reality, sitting in a bathtub and wearing a wet towel was the opposite of ‘being capable’. He felt like a child who had been told not to do something and then had done so anyway, he felt so stupid. He really was an idiot wasn’t he?

“Did you make anything worse?” Phil asked

“Don’t think so.” Yes, he was in pain but it was the same dull ache that it had been since the accident and he just needed his morning painkillers, he couldn’t feel anything that would indicate extra damage.

“Are you decent?” Phil asked.

“As decent as I’ll ever be right now.” Dan sighed.

Fortunately for the two of them, the bathroom lock was dodgy and anyone with nails would be able to open it from the outside by simply using their nail to slide the latch along. They had been meaning to get it fixed for a while now, but Dan was glad that they hadn’t.

Phil was not prepared for the sight that greeted him when he finally made it into the bathroom. It wasn’t bad, there was no blood.

But there was an almost naked Dan sitting in the bathtub with wet curls and damp skin.

He had asked if Dan was decent and when Dan had said that he was Phil hadn’t thought that he would walk in on this.

There was no other way to describe it; Dan looked like a wet puppy, a lost wet puppy.

“At least you thought to put the covers over the casts.” Phil commented, glancing at the thick plastic _things_ that covered Dan’s arm and leg and trying not to focus on Dan too much, he was glad they’d been given the covers because he was willing to just use carrier bags, but apparently that could cause condensation which wasn’t good for plaster casts.

“I’m not a complete idiot.” Dan grumbled.

Something about the way Dan had said that made Phil smirk, forget looking like a wet puppy, Dan looked like a small child who had just been told that he couldn’t go out and play with his friends. The puppy dog eyes and pout was adorable.

It was normal to say that. People could be adorable without it meaning something. Phil called people adorable all the time, so why did that sound so different in his mind?

Maybe it only sounded like it meant more because he was paying so much attention to it, he needed to stop.

“Hello? Earth to Phil?” Dan said waving his good hand in the air.

“Right, ok, is your towel secure?” Phil asked.

“Yep, don’t worry, there shouldn’t be any accidental butt flashing.” Dan said.

_What about on purpose?_ Phil thought before he could stop himself.

“Phil it was a joke, no need to look so traumatised.” Dan chuckled.

“Ha, yeah.” Phil said vaguely, feeling more preoccupied with the fact that he had actually thought that thing.

“So, are you going to help me?” Dan asked slowly.

“Yes, of course, um, I'm just not sure how to go about this?” Phil admitted.

“I don’t know.” Dan said.

“Right, um, shuffle down the bath as much as you can.” Phil instructed. “I’ll climb in behind you and try to lift you into a standing position.”

Dan agreed and tried to do as Phil said, it wasn’t easy, he had insanely long legs and one of them couldn’t bend properly, but eventually they managed to clear enough space so that Phil could squeeze in behind Dan.

“I’m going to lift you under your arms, but I don’t want to put pressure on your left one, so use your good leg to push up.” Phil said.

“Alright.” Dan muttered. “This is not how I thought this morning would go.”

“Same here, I can't believe you made me get my socks wet.” Phil grumbled.

“Hey, you could’ve just taken them off.” Dan retorted.       

“Shut up.” Phil muttered but they both knew that it had no bite to it. “Right. You ready?”

“Yeah, go for it.” Dan said.

 Fortunately Dan managed to put enough strength into pushing himself up with his leg and with minimal grunting and groaning he was up. It was also a testament to Phil’s strength that he was able to pull Dan up to his feet on the first try.

They stood there for a moment, breathing heavily, Dan really needed those painkillers now his entire body ached.

“You alright?” Phil asked quietly, not realising that he was still holding onto Dan, who was still only wearing a towel.

“Yeah, I just should have taken my meds before trying to shower.” Dan answered.

“You should have waited for me, that’s what you should have done.” Phil admonished. “Right let’s get you out of this bath.”

It was much easier to climb out of the bath with Phil there to support him and stop him from wobbling as he heaved his cast over the side of the bath.

“The plastic cover is so slippery when it gets wet.” Dan muttered.

“That wouldn’t be an issue if there was just _someone_ there to help you.”

“Alright, Phil, I get your point.” Dan sighed. “It was stupid and thoughtless of me to try and preserve some of my dignity by showering alone. I won't try to do it again. In fact why don’t I just become a nudist, it will save us both from so many problems. Or maybe you should just jump in the damn shower with me, at least we’ll save some fucking water.”

Phil had to force himself to think of an answer that wasn’t ‘good idea’.

“Dan, don’t be silly. We can still preserve your modesty.” He said.

“Yeah, right, how exactly?”

“Well, just like we are now.” Phil said. “You’ve already proved you can shower alone, it’s getting in and out of the shower that seems to be giving you problems.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well, you can changed into a towel, I’ll help you into the shower then leave, you have your shower and wrap your towel back around yourself after and I’ll come back and help you out.” Phil explained.

“That… might actually be ok.” Dan said.

“Great, that’s one problem sorted.” Phil smiled. “I’ll wait outside for you while you get dressed.”

Dan suddenly realised how close he was to Phil and hoped that he didn’t notice the heat that was spreading up Dan’s neck.

“Right, ah, thanks.” Dan said, stumbling over his words as his mind was filled with Phil’s concerned blue eyes.

How could he be so lucky as to have a best friend who was always there for him, and who actually listened. When Dan made those comments about becoming a nudist, most people would get annoyed and tell him to do whatever he wanted because they were sick of trying to reason with a lost cause. Not Phil though, no Phil always saw straight through his defensive, sarcastic comments and came up with an answer that soothed Dan’s mind.

Phil really was one of a kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all had a wonderful festive period and are looking forward to the new year! I'm so ready for 2016 to be over smh. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, i'm trying to introduce Dan/Phil slowly but damn it's hard, i just want them to be with each other already. Maybe a certain mother can open their eyes a bit ;) 
> 
> anyways! let me know what you thought, reading your comments really makes my day and i love every single one of them <3 
> 
> come join me on tumblr @existentialcatwhiskers :D xxxx


	8. Parents and Live Shows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone, this fic was nominated for best AO3 fic for the phanfiction awards <3 ty for all the support!

****

Dan had been home from the hospital for a week and it had been one of the longest weeks of his life. He often made jokes for the sake of the internet about how he was a hermit who never went outside, but now that he was stuck indoors he found himself missing the fresh air, it was the ultimate irony. Phil had, of course, offered to take him somewhere in his wheelchair but Dan had vehemently refused. He was not risking being seen in public in that thing.

So Dan had been forced to find other ways to maintain his sanity while confined to his sofa crease.  He had tweeted every single day, sometimes multiple times a day, he had even managed to create a few good cast puns much to the disgust of many of his followers, he’d posted a selfie, a stalkerish picture of Phil trying to balance his coffee cup on his head for a reason that was still unknown to Dan, and then a following action shot of the mug falling off his head. He should probably mention that Phil hadn’t finished drinking his coffee, it had been very messy.

Dan had even managed to build his tumblr queue up, as it stood there would be ten posts to his tumblr every day for 139 days, he’d even altered his theme, changed the colours ever so slightly, made the text larger, altered the distance between posts, changed his profile picture. He had even posted three pictures to his Instagram and outlined a few ideas for YouTube videos.

It was all so productive.

Except it wasn’t and being housebound was beginning to drive both of them up the wall. They had reached a tenuous understanding, and one word or action could shatter it.

Dan was frustrated with everything. He was fed up of the casts, the lack of privacy, the constant need to have someone beside him to help him with absolutely everything. He wanted to do everything himself and so he had to force himself to accept that he wasn’t able to at the moment. On the other hand Phil, who was so eager to help in any way that he could, was trying to remind himself that he couldn’t, he had to give Dan the space he needed and let him make the stupid mistakes because at least that way Dan would be will to accept his help the next time. It had worked with the shower fiasco, Dan hadn’t complained about being helped into or out of the shower ever since his little fall when he had tried it alone.

So as usual, Dan was in his place on the sofa, as Phil rushed around the flat trying to make sure that it was tidy enough for his parents arriving.

“You’re annoying me.” Dan muttered as Phil finally finished hoovering.

“What? How? I’m tidying.” Phil said looking confused.

“Exactly, you're doing stuff, stop it.” Dan said. “Just sit down and watch anime with me, stop being so productive, it’s infuriating.”

“My parents will be here soon, Dan, someone has to do the tidying and it’s not going to be you.” Phil said.

“I know, that’s why I’m getting annoyed. I can't do a damn thing and therefore I don’t want you to do anything either.” Dan grumbled.

“That makes no sense.” Phil said.

“Yes it does, it makes all the sense in the world.” Dan sulked.

“You don’t want me to tidy the flat because you can't?” Phil asked with an eye roll. “Yeah, that really does make sense.”

“Your parents have been here tons of times, why do we have to tidy? I’m sure they don’t mind a bit of mess, I mean they must be used to it as they raised two boys.”

“We were tidy children, thank you very much,” Phil replied, “and there’s a difference; we don’t have a child.”

“That’s not what tumblr thinks.” Dan muttered.

“Yeah, but according to tumblr we’re also married, own a dog, and have a secret house in the country.” Phil reminded him.

“I wouldn’t mind owning a dog.” Dan sighed.

“Our landlord said no.” Phil reminded him, being the responsible one when he didn’t want to be, if it was up to him they would have more dogs than subscribers.

“It’s so unfair, our neighbours got to have a dog.” Dan whined.

“Which is why we were told no; that dog barks all the time and the landlord didn’t want any more animals creating a racket.” Phil shrugged.

“It’s still unfair.” Dan sighed.

“No, what’s really unfair is that you're trying to distract me from doing the housework so I’ll keep you company.” Phil chuckled.

“Damn, I thought the subject of dogs would work.” Dan said with a frown that was ruined by the slight upturn of his lips.

“Try a cat themed viral video next time, or soldiers reuniting with their pets.” Phil suggested as he took Dan’s empty cup through to the kitchen.

Phil’s parents had called half an hour ago to tell them that they were nearby and it wouldn’t be long before they were there, despite the fact that they both kept the flat relatively clean – not including their bedrooms of course – Phil had hung up the phone and immediately whacked out the hoover and furniture polish.

Dan had sat by idly feeling rather guilty that he was literally sitting with his feet up rather than helping. Well, if he was been particular, he was sitting with one foot resting on the coffee table. His little pile of morning tablets were sitting on the table by his foot along with a glass of Ribena and a small stack of biscuits. After Dan’s accident, Phil had gone to the shop and bought more biscuits than any person should legally be allowed to buy.

He had remembered that Dan was a complete failure of a person and was unable to swallow a single small tablet without scoffing something, put that together with the small list of pills that Dan had to take and Phil had been the perfect friend. Dan had, of course, thanked him gratefully with a ‘you’re such a dork’.

“Dan, hurry up and take your tablets.” Phil said as he rushed back in the lounge, curling one hand protectively around the flame of a candle he had lit to make the flat smell like Fireside Treats.

“I’m getting to it, I hate taking them.” Dan whined.

“I know, you tell me every time I put them in front of you, but then you always take too long to actually take the things and complain that you're sore.” Phil replied.

“You would be surprised how painful three broken bones can be.” Dan said cheerfully.

“I don’t think I want to know.” Phil said.

“You’re right, you don’t.” Dan said.

“Have you thought anymore about your YouTube video?” Phil asked as he dusted the fireplace for the second time that morning.

“Yeah, I’m hoping to film over the next few days but I'm not exactly sure what I want to do, it can't really be anything that has a skit in it which narrows things down quite a bit.” Dan sighed. “I might just do a waffly, vloggy type thing.”

“About what?”

“Not sure, maybe answer some questions that people have about my arm and leg.” Dan shrugged. “Then again that could be done on a live show.”

“I have a live show later tonight, why don’t you join me for it?” Phil offered.

“Nah, people will just ask about my injuries constantly and it’ll end up being about that.” Dan said shaking his head, he didn’t want people to jump onto Phil’s live show just to talk about himself, as that was just unfair. Like when people watched their shows and constantly commented ‘GET DAN/PHIL’ even when they had already said that the other person wasn’t even home. 

“I don’t mind, all I’ve done lately is spend time in the hospital with you and hang around here with you, it’s not like I’ve done anything exciting.” Phil said. “I’ve basically been your personal butler.”

“Shut up.” Dan said with a laugh.

“I’m joking, I really don’t mind.” Phil said with a small grin. “Seriously though, join my live show, people are going to ask about how you are whether you're there or not, so you might as well be there and get it over with.”

“If you're sure?”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t.” Phil said cheerfully.

“Yes you would have, you're too nice to people sometimes.” Dan said with a smirk.

“As my mum would say; you reap what you sow.” Phil said as he finally finished dusting and decided to flop onto the sofa next to Dan. “That’s one thing sorted, but there’s still the matter of your YouTube video?”

“I know, I know.” Dan groaned. “I might scroll through my emails and see if there are some good ones for another internet support group video.”

“That would be good, I love those ones, they’re hilarious.” Phil said.

“They don’t require heaps of movement either.” Dan said.

“You should do it, I love seeing the new nicknames that people come up with for you.” Phil chuckled. “I particularly liked ‘DJ Howell’, ‘Dad’ and ‘Boo’.”

“Ugh, did you have to bring up DJ Howell?”

“I just love that that’s the one that makes you cringe.” Phil chuckled.

“I’ve called far too many people dad for it to disturb me.” Dan said before thinking back over what he had just said. “Not like that, I meant ironically.”

“Of course you did.” Phil laughed.

“Listen I didn’t come here to be bullied like this.”

“Well then it’s a shame that you can't just get up and leave isn’t it?” Phil teased him.

“You suck.” Dan muttered.

“Yeah, and you still haven’t taken your tablets.” Phil said sticking his tongue out childishly.

“Ugh,” Dan groaned, “if I could, I would slide off this sofa and straight into hell.”

“Wow, it’s a good thing that your cast makes that impossible.” Phil muttered sarcastically.

_BZZZZZZ_

“Is it just me or does our buzzer sound really obnoxious and violent?” Dan asked.

“Kinda like it’s screaming at us.” Phil agreed.

“It’s probably your parents.” Dan said.

“Yeah.” Phil agreed.

“So, like, are you gonna go let them in?” Dan asked.

“Yeah, I was just comfy.” Phil complained. “I don’t want to get up.”

Despite his complaints, Phil heaved himself up of the sofa, he had been really comfortable lounging there but now he was being forced to get up and let his parents into the flat.

“Phil!”

As soon as he opened the door, his mum was wrapped around him, squeezing the life from him in a tight, python-like hug. His dad was standing a couple of foot behind her laden with their luggage.

“Hey mum, dad.” Phil gasped out as best he could with his limited air.

“How are you doing?” his mum asked. “How have you been? How’s Dan doing?”

“Let the boy breath.” His dad said, cutting off his mum’s questioning, it worked. His mum let go and pulled back so that he had some space.

“Come on up, I’ll put the kettle on, we weren’t sure how near ‘nearby’ was so I waited till you got here.” Phil said as he escorted his parents up the twenty million steps to their flat.

“Well we were only five minutes away when I phoned you, but then your dad decided that he knew a shortcut and we just _had_ to take it.” His mum said with a roll of her eyes.

“I was sure that it was a shortcut.” His dad said defensively.

“Well it wasn’t and we ended up adding a ton of time to the journey.” His mum said.

“At least we know now for next time.”

“We didn’t need to know.”

“At least I know what to get you for Christmas.” Phil grinned. “A SatNav would make your lives so much easier.”

“I don’t know how to work one of those things. Martyn made me get this map app on my phone and I haven’t used it since he made me get it.” His dad muttered.

“I’ll teach you how to use it.” Phil promised. “Dan’s in the lounge, you can go make yourself comfortable and I’ll make your tea.”

Dan had been quite relaxed, he was lounging peacefully on the sofa listening to the sounds of Phil greeting his parents and inviting them in, he was glad that they were here. Phil had been complaining for the past month that he hadn’t seen his parents for a while and ever since he found out that they were definitely coming for a visit he had been bouncing off the metaphorical roof.

Phil always started to worry if he hadn’t seen his parents for a while, he had explained it way too many times but in short it had something to do with the fact that he was nearly thirty and that was just insane and if he was feeling that way about turning thirty, imagine how his parents must feel. If he stopped seeing them so often then maybe they would actually begin to look older too.

It was confusing when Dan tried to explain it, but basically Phil was worried that if he didn’t see his parents often enough, then one day he would visit them and they would suddenly appear old.

“Dan!”

Dan was pulled from his musing by Phil’s mum walking into the lounge. He knew that she had been informed of his accident when it had happened, but it was one thing to hear about it and an entirely different situation to see the casts in person.

“Oh my…”

“It looks worse than it is.” Dan said reassuringly. “How was your journey?”

“Oh it was fine, I had it all planned out and under control.” Phil’s dad said as he scratched the back of his neck.

“He’s lying, but enough about that, how are you, really?”

“Honestly, I’m fine, don’t worry.” Dan grinned. “It gets a bit frustrating not being able to do most things on my own but I’m getting there.”

“He’d get there faster if he took his tablets.” Phil muttered as he walked into the room, holding two cups of tea.

“Oh, yeah.” Dan muttered.

“I have to tell him to take his tablets like twenty times before he actually does.” Phil explained to his parents.

“It’s not my fault, I hate taking them so I put it off and then I just forget.” Dan explained. “It’s like texting; I open the message to get rid of the notification and tell myself I’ll reply later and then I just never do.”

“That explains a lot.” Phil muttered. “I swear, if I didn’t constantly nag you to do things, you’d just end up completely isolating yourself from society.”

“I would be happy enough with that.” Dan mumbled.

Phil noticed a small smile on his mum’s face as he and Dan joked, the smile was something that Phil had learned to be wary of, it was the one which made him think that his mum knew something that he didn’t.

“You alright, mum?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m just glad that you’re both ok.” She said, watching as Dan took a tablet and a bite of one of the biscuits that Phil had laid out for him. “I told you after you uploaded the last one of those videos that it was a stupid and reckless thing to do.”

“I know, I know, but people loved it, we just wanted to do a sequel as a thank you. They’ve stuck by us for so long.” Phil explained.

“You may as well have just done another wii dancing video.” His mum said, refusing to back down.

“Just Dance?” Dan asked.

“That’s what I said, if you are going by the views, that one was way more successful than your dangerous one.” His mum informed them.

“You know that?” Phil asked in shock.

“Of course I do, you don’t think I take an interest in you boys’ videos?” she asked them.

“I didn’t think you knew our most popular videos.” Phil said.

“Yours is Phil is not on fire six and yours,” she looked at Dan, “is the photobooth one.”

Dan stared open mouthed for a second before realising that he was probably giving everyone an unattractive view of the mushy biscuit in his mouth and snapping it shut. He was astonished that Phil’s mum knew what his most popular video was. Sure, knowing her own son’s wasn’t that odd, but Dan’s? It was kind of touching in a way Dan hadn’t expected it to be.

“It doesn’t matter if we have guests over or not, if one of you boys uploads a new video then your mother will stream it to the TV and force everyone in the house to watch it.” Phil’s dad said. “The poor Avon lady had to sit through the tumblr video, I’ve never seen someone’s face go so red.”

“That was at the um, art?” Phil’s mum said.

“Ah, right of course.” Dan said with a cough, they should have seen the other part of the drawing.

“There was a lot of skill in it, don’t get me wrong. I just think the Avon lady was a bit shocked.”

What Dan hadn’t realised, as he spoke to Phil’s parents, was how much he had also missed them. There was something about the entire Lester family that was so welcoming, they made you feel at home just by being in their presence.

Dan could remember back in 2009 when he’d when to stay with Phil, Phil’s parents had been away at the time and Dan had only pictures to judge them by. In all the pictures Phil’s parents were surrounded by their children and family, they were smiling proudly. Dan particularly appreciated the pictures of Phil as a child, not that he would have mentioned that back then.

Dan had been secretly intimidated by the smiling family. Surely people who appeared so perfect in pictures couldn’t really be so perfect in real life, could they? All those grins and the frozen laughter? Was it just put on for the camera? Dan hadn’t been sure and despite enjoying his time with Phil, he was plagued by the fear that if they continued their friendship at some point he would meet Phil’s family. It was one thing to meet a friend’s parents, but it was an entirely new thing to meet the parents of a friend who you had primarily interacted with online and then travelled from a completely different part of the country to meet.

Fortunately Dan had been welcomed straight away upon meeting the parents, despite Phil’s mum telling him constantly to address her by her name, he insisted on calling her Mrs. Lester. In fact, to this day he still did as he was too awkward to change.

They sat and chatted for a long time, longer than Dan thought was possible, before Phil’s parents went out for the evening. Dan and Phil had been given movie tickets a while ago and had intended to go see the movie, but then Dan’s accident happened and there was the fact that Dan didn’t want to be photographed in his wheelchair if they accidently bumped into one of their viewers, so they had decided to give the tickets to Phil’s parents and Phil had even gone so far as to book them into one of their favourite restaurants as an early birthday present.

It was the most convenient option as it meant that even though Phil’s parents were staying with them, they wouldn’t be feel as though they absolutely had to spend every second of their time with Dan and Phil, and it also meant that they would have some peace to do the live show. Phil had promised his viewers that he wouldn’t cancel this week as he hadn’t made it the last few weeks due to travel, other engagements and a bout of the flu.

“Pizza?” Phil asked.

“Huh? Sorry, I was in a world of my own there.” Dan said.

“Oh right, I was wondering what you wanted for tea tonight and then I was thinking we could order pizza for the live show?” Phil asked.

“Pizza works, I’m sure the internet will love all the Photoshop opportunities that we’ll give them by eating pizza live on camera.” Dan laughed.

“I didn’t even think about that.” Phil admitted. “Wait! Are you still vegan?”

“Nope, I completed my month two days ago.” Dan said proudly. “I should really consider making it permanent.”

“Don’t you dare, I get enough comments from my mum about feeding you up once you start eating steak again, can you imagine how much she’ll nag if she finds out that you’ll never get a decent amount of meaty protein ever again?” Phil whined.

“Did you really just say the words ‘meaty protein’?” Dan asked with disgust.

 “Sorry.” Phil laughed, not sounding the least bit sorry.

“You spork.” Dan groaned. “Go get your laptop, I’ll order the pizzas.”

Dan’s stomach was grumbling by the time the pizzas arrived, he was hungry, sore, and tired. Not the best combination but he would take his medications again with his pizza so that would solve two of his problems, and once the live show was finished he would get Phil to help him back to his room so he could sleep. He wondered if Phil’s parents would be back by then or not, he hoped not. It was one thing to need help to do absolutely everything, but he couldn’t stand the thought of having Phil’s parents witnessing it, or even worse; offering to help.

He had already had to wait until they’d gone out to ask Phil to help him to the bathroom, and there was no way that his bladder could cope with that every single day. He would have to man up and ask in front of Phil’s parents or figure out a discreet way around it. Unfortunately there wasn’t much that was discreet about a 6’3’’ man covered in plaster casts being escorted around by a 6’2’’ man.

“Pizza is here.” Phil sang as he carried everything through to the lounge where Dan was loading up the YouNow website.

Finally they were seated, comfortable and munching on pizza as they watched one of the other broadcasters while they waited for their own show to start. It was always the same, no matter what the broadcaster had been talking about or doing previously as soon as their viewers hit the chat and started typing ‘PHIL IS WATCHING’ the broadcaster immediately started talking about Dan and Phil.

It was a shame in Phil’s opinion as he was usually quite interested and wanted to hear what people were talking about, not hear people saying his name over and over.

Finally it was their turn.

“Hey guys!” Phil said happily. “I think that’s it working now, we’re just going to tweet it.”

“Wow, a lot of people are surprised that I’m here, we didn’t warn you about that one, did we?” Dan said with amusement.

“Done,” Phil said, putting his phone away. “As you may have noticed, we decided to do a joint show as its been way too long since either of us have done one and you guys have been tweeting us questions nonstop for the past week and a half.”

“I wonder why that is?” Dan asked sarcastically.

“Obviously it’s because of the Japan tour we’re doing.” Phil said.

“Oh god,” Dan muttered as he face palmed with his good hand. “That was a joke, but everyone will think that you’re serious.”

“Whoops.” Phil said, not sounding that apologetic. “By the way, you still need to retweet me.”

“Thirsty bitch.” Dan muttered as he unlocked his phone.

“Quotes from Dan.” Phil replied before turning his attention back to the chat. “I think most people are here, so let’s start by saying hi!”

They spent a few minutes reading out some of the names in the chat, trying to ignore the caps locks questions about what had happened to Dan. There was time for that later.

“So, you’ll be glad to know that I’m not going to ditch you guys in like twenty minutes for food.” Dan said. “We ordered pizza! Have fun photoshopping us eating pizza into whatever your little hearts’ desire.”

“That’s just an open invitation.” Phil whined.

“Well it’s not like they really needed one.” Dan said.

“True.”

“AmazingGemma asked ‘who’s suitcase is that?’.” Dan read out.

“Oh, I didn’t even realise you could see that in the corner of the screen, nice perception skills there Gemma.” Phil said. “That’s my parents’ suitcase, they’re visiting for a few days.”

“Freddie wants to see them and say hi, sorry Freddie, they’re away out for the evening.” Dan said.

“You never know, they may make it back before the end of the live show?” Phil suggested.

“Although they’re going to a movie and for a meal, that takes a while.” Dan reminded him.

“Ah, true, oh well, sorry guys! There’ll always be another time I’m sure, and then you can say hi to my parents.”

“Careful or before you know it they’ll be making a YouTube channel and all of our subscribers will abandon us for them.” Dan laughed. “You know what? I wouldn’t even be mad.”

“Neither would I, imagine them playing fnaf?” Phil asked.

“That would be a sight.”

“Ok enough avoiding it, we both know what these guys want to know.” Phil said with a clap of his hands that was so sudden it startled Dan.

“Jesus fucking Christ on a tandem bicycle!”

“Who is he on the tandem with?” Phil asked.

“I’m not sure, Shrek?” Dan suggested.

“Now that’s a mental image that I really didn’t need.” Phil said screwing up his nose.

“No one needed it, but everyone got it.” Dan said with a shit-eating grin.

“We’re getting off track again.” Phil muttered.

“Right, ok then.” Dan said. “Let’s check the premiums, there’s probably a few questions there.”

“Alyssa asks ‘Dan u ok?’.” Phil read.

“Thanks for the concern but I’m fine, according to the doctors I was actually lucky. Can you believe it?” Dan answered.

“Yeah, his arm was a very clean break and they say that it’ll heal with next to no side effects.” Phil said.

“It was my leg that caused most of the problems.” Dan said. “Warning if any of you guys are squeamish then you might want to close your ears now.”

“Close their ears?” Phil questioned.

“Yeah, well, you know what I meant. Mute us or something.” Dan corrected.

“It’s pretty gory.” Phil agreed. “You guys are lucky you don’t have to see it like I did, I swear to god, I thought I was going to pass out.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t, seriously guys.” Dan said.

“I’m surprised _you_ didn’t!” Phil said.

“Right, so what happened was, we thought that it would be a good idea to try and film another three legged DDR video. Big mistake.” Dan said. “I don’t even know how it happened? Somehow, during one of the songs, we both lost our balance and Phil went to move his foot one way and I went to go the other way and we ended up falling.”

“It wasn’t a graceful fall.” Phil promised them.

“Not in the slightest. We ended up twisting so the I took the brunt of the fall by accident and well you can see the result.” Dan said motioning to his casts.

“It was gruesome.” Phil said.

“Annie wants to know how we got out of the tape.” Dan said.

“Oh that wasn’t easy! We went for duct tape this time which didn’t help matters.” Phil said.

“We don’t need to go into detail, trust me, all you need to know is that it was very painful and not an experience I would ever want to repeat.” Dan said.

“Jeanne asks if we had to ride in an ambulance?” Phil read out.

“We did, surprisingly enough when you break an arm and a leg, you're not really in a fit state to just walk into the accident and emergency department. The paramedics who helped us were actually really kind and very good at their job.” Dan complimented.

“They really were,” Phil agreed, “Dan’s not just being biased because they gave him morphine.”

“Although that helped.” Dan laughed.

“I could have done with something for the emotional trauma.” Phil laughed.

“Yeah, you saw a lot, can you guys believe that when I broke my leg the bone actually pierced through the skin.”

“Wow, you’ve made a lot of people feel ill just by saying that.” Phil muttered as he read through the chat.

“You were warned.” Dan said.

“The hospital was more interesting though.” Phil muttered.

“Oh my god!” Dan said loudly all of a sudden. “I should tell you guys about the nurse who put my water gun in my hand.”

“No.” Phil said.

“Don’t be a buzzkill.” Dan smirked. “So, word had spread between the staff members that me and Phil were people who made online videos and a few of you probably know where this is going.”

“Judging by the chat and the emojis, they definitely do.” Phil said.

“Yeah, so the nurse decided to make a comment about how if we could make a living from doing porn then we must be very good at our jobs. Apparently only the best can make it in that industry.” Dan said with a laugh.

“I was mortified by that, I didn’t even know how to react.” Phil said.

“It was hilarious, but the poor guy was so embarrassed by the situation that he faked an illness and left his shift early.” Dan said.

“We’re not going to name names.” Phil said. “A few of you are asking and I won't do that to the poor guy.”

“It’s a logical assumption, I guess.” Dan said. “Online videos? Porn? I don’t know, all I know is that he was very careful not to ask how I’d managed to break my bones.”

They continued talking for a while, answering as many of the questions as they could, most people wanted to know as much as they could about Dan’s injuries which wasn’t very interesting, especially not for those who had lived through the ordeal. Still, they told the viewers as much as they were willing to, and moved on to talk about the future.

Phil had a few ideas lined up for new videos and Dan was planning his internet support group video, they wanted to do another gaming video but their options had been narrowed significantly by Dan’s injuries. Still, they could film a Sims video they suggested, that seemed to garner a positive reaction.

It was a calm and peaceful show, and finally they drew it to a close with a few comments about positivity and how they would see everyone again in the next live show.

It felt like an achievement to finish the live show, they had done it, they had told their viewers what had happened and that was one more thing ticked off the to-do list.

It was surprising really, after everything that had changed and happened recently when it came down to it, everything was essentially the same.

Little did they know, as they closed the laptop and finished their last few slices of pizza, Phil’s mum was sipping wine and considering the change in the relationship between her son and his ‘friend’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! This has been the longest chapter so far! It seems as though Phil's mum is noticing some things and may be plotting and planning ...
> 
> Come join me on tumblr @existentialcatwhiskers and we can celebrate the wonderful 2017 together. ed sheeran is back and the world is good again!
> 
> For all the people asking about the medical stuff, yes i have some knowledge of it, i am a final year nursing student with A&E experience. however just remember that i am still a student and there is still some things im learning (in case i make a future error :p)
> 
> (also when i saw that we were nominated i nearly had a heart attack! seriously, i was not expecting that at all)


	9. Domestic Dinners and Bedtime?

“Come on, Dan, it’s just one night, I’ve put up with it for all the ones up till now.” Phil whined. “Just take one for the team.”

“Hell no.” Dan said instantly, not even needing to think about his answer.

“I will give you £150.” Phil said.

“It’s still a no.”

“£200.”

“Nope.” Dan said with a chuckle. “You could literally use that money to replace the damn sofa bed.”

“I would but we’d have to wait for delivery and then actually build it when it arrives and work out how to get rid of the old one.” Phil sighed.

Dan was perched uncomfortably on the counter by the oven, at his request, so that he could take charge of frying the vegetables for the stir fry that were sizzling away in a pan on the hob. Phil had been reluctant to allow Dan to help, but after Dan threatened to stand up alone at the oven without his help, he had finally conceded and given Dan the job that would allow him to at least sit down.

Even if his seat was inches from boiling hot oil.

Dan was regretting offering to help as the weight of his casts were constantly trying to pull him down off the counter and stirring vegetables with his right hand was not easy. He wasn’t going to admit that to Phil though, not after the fuss he had put up in order to actually get in the kitchen. Not only that, but he had blatantly ignored Phil’s legitimate concerns about sitting on the counter by the oven.

“How about £250?” Phil asked.

“How about no?” Dan laughed.

Phil had started at £50 and was raising the price incrementally in order to get Dan to cave but Dan was determined. It wasn’t going to work.

Phil had spent the past few nights on their fold out sofa bed in the office, and during that time he had realised what a shit sofa bed it was. He had been complaining of a sore neck and back ever since he had first walked into Dan’s room that morning after his first night on it.

So now Phil was trying to bribe Dan into swapping sleeping situations. It was usually fine, whenever people would stay over at their flat, they would set up the office for the guests and let them use the sofa bed, but unfortunately as it was Phil’s mum and dad staying, the office just wouldn’t be big enough for the two of them, so as they were Phil’s parents, Phil had taken the hit, which was a decision he was regretting dearly.

“£300?”

“Do you really want the crippled one to lie on an uncomfortable bed up a flight of stairs?” Dan asked. “You already know how much of an ordeal it is for me to make it to my bed, never mind trying to add stairs into the equation.”

“Yeah, but I’ll be there to help you still.” Phil said.

“You say that like it’s a huge bonus, but you're literally asking the guy with three broken bones to lie on a bed which has caused you back and neck pain.” Dan chuckled as he battled with the vegetables, struggling to stir them with his right hand.

“Yeah, but you’ve got the strong painkillers.” Phil said with a cheeky shrug and he slipped by Dan to the front of the oven and gently took the spatula to quickly flip the vegetables before they burned.

“Thanks,” Dan mumbled before speaking up, “those painkillers aren’t an excuse to cause myself more pain. What do you think people do? Take a two paracetamol and then run into a wall?”

“I never said you had to run into a wall.” Phil said, returning the spatula to Dan.

Dan smirked as he accepted the utensil back, knowing that Phil had only returned it so that he felt as though he had an important job.

“It’s only a few more nights and then you’ll have your bed back, I swear to god, you have a severely dependent relationship with that bloody bed.” Dan muttered.

“It’s not the bed I’m attached to, it’s the mattress,” Phil said, “and since you have exactly the same mattress, there won't be any problems – for me – if I take your bed and you take the sofa bed.”

“Nice try, Phil.” Dan grinned.

“I miss memory foam.” Phil sighed.

“It’s been one night, man, get it together,” Dan said with a laugh. “How the hell did you survive our tour?”

“I had to weigh the benefits of pancakes against the cons of leaving my beautiful bed behind.” Phil said, and Dan wasn’t entirely sure whether he was joking or not. “Plus, I took my pillow.”

“Jesus Christ! I forgot about that.” Dan said. “That pillow has literally seen more of America than half of the people in Britain.”

“What a cultured pillow.” Phil said.

“Yeah, it’s totally cultured.” Dan muttered sarcastically.

“Although I washed it when we got home, so does that mean that I washed away the culture?” Phil asked.

“What even is that question?” Dan asked.

“When I washed my pillowcase, did I wash away my pillow’s culture?” Phil asked again.

“See, you're saying words and making a sentence, but I still don’t understand what you're asking me.” Dan snickered before actually considering the question. “What you’re essentially asking me is what exactly is culture?”

“Don’t make this deep.” Phil said.

“I mean technically if you looked in the dictionary you would get something along the lines of ideas, customs, and social behaviour which is very true. The arts and specific humanistic achievements play a major role in defining the culture of a certain place.” Dan said. “However is culture made up because of the people who live in a certain place or do people adopt the culture of the place they go to?”

“Really?” Phil deadpanned. “You're really going to do this now?”

“Think about it, Phil.” Dan insisted. “For example, laws are a significant part of culture, so if you take a place that has the death penalty enforced like, say Texas, and you moved all of the citizens to another place like Scotland, what would happen? There are more than 26 million people in Texas and only around 5 million in Scotland, so what would happen?”

“How do you even know that?”

“So the Scots have suddenly been outnumbered, but their laws are still enforced, would the culture change to the majority? Because that means that culture isn’t specifically a place, it’s a collection of people.” Dan reasoned.

“Dan it’s half eight. In the evening.” Phil said. “It’s too late for this.”

Dan rolled his eyes, and Phil snickered knowing that they would probably both be awake at 2am.

“So, coming back to your pillow, it depends. If you believe that it was cultured, it may still be, however as a society are we oppressing your pillow’s views? Are we forcing your pillow to conform to the majority?” Dan asked.

“Dan, you're doing that thing where you convince yourself that humanity is awful again.” Phil said.

“Humanity _is_ awful.” Dan corrected him. “I don’t need to convince myself of that, it’s just a well known fact.”

They cooked together in a comfortable silence for a little while, pondering the dismal outlook humanity was causing for the planet, before Dan decided that the vegetables were ready.

“Here, do you want to grab this before it burns?” Dan asked, motioning towards the pan he was proudly manning.

“We should have filmed this, it could have been the next baking video.” Phil said. “Although we’re cooking, not baking.”

“We could film ourselves making eggs and bacon, call it DanAndPhilBREAKFAST.” Dan said. “It sounds like a news channel.”

“Of course you went straight to breakfast.” Phil said.

“It’s the most important meal of the day, man.” Dan defended.

“It really does sound like a news station, I’ll finally be a weatherman.” Phil cheered. “A snowstorm in Ireland brushes through the west coast of England, the south can expect blistering sunshine and Scotland get rain.”

“Scotland get rain?” Dan asked.

“My Scottish followers always seem to have cloudy, rainy days when we have sun.” Phil said.

“And Ireland?”

“I don’t know, they have a weather system all of their own.”

“Fantastic.” Dan said. “Best weatherman ever.”

“I thought so too.” Phil grinned. “What would you do though?”

“Movie reviews, obviously.” Dan said. “I could waffle for hours about various movies.”

“Wow that would be a great news channel, weather and movies. No actual news, but who cares when you have inaccurate weather predictions and movie recommendations.”

“True.”

Phil started dishing out the food as Dan leaned over and turned off the oven. Their little system was working well, at least it was until Phil’s mum walked in and nearly had a heart attack when she saw Dan precariously balanced by a pan of sizzling oil.

“What on earth possessed you boys into thinking this was a good idea?” she had asked, while Phil dished out the stir fry sheepishly.

“I wanted to help.” Dan said.

“You were inches away from getting fourth degree burns.” She said.

“I made sure to only put a tiny bit of oil in the pans.” Phil said, feeling like a scolded child.

“It was my fault, I insisted on helping and I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.” Dan said feeling defensive of Phil and like he had to explain himself.

It seemed so childish to even think, but Dan didn’t want Phil to get into trouble for something that was entirely his fault. Technically speaking, Phil was an adult and even if his mum got upset with him, he wouldn’t really be affected by it, but that was irrelevant to Dan in that moment. He was the one who had insisted on helping, he was the one who had said that if Phil didn’t help him then he would do it by himself.

“Alright.” Phil’s mum said with a smile and she took the glass of water that she had originally come through for and left the room without another word.

“Um.” Dan stared after her in confusion.

Phil frowned suspiciously, his mum was up to something, he could tell. There was no way she would see something so dangerous and just walk away without a lecture. That wasn’t the way his mum worked, she had given them a solid fifty minute lecture yesterday about risking their health and wellbeing for the sake of a video. Not only that but they had also been lectured over the phone before she had visited.

Basically, Phil’s mum was extremely concerned about their health and wellbeing and would never leave them un-lectured after they had knowingly done something stupid. Phil could understand, really, just a short time ago they had discovered that they had unknowingly had a gas leak for years, which was worrying. It was a good thing that it was in the downstairs hallway because otherwise all the scented candles they had lying around could have killed them. It would be so typical, to be killed by a candle.

Phil could remember when he had been to doctors after scratching his eye and the doctor had accused him of being on drugs, what if that was because of the gas. He wanted to go back and tell that doctor so that he wouldn’t secretly think that Phil was on drugs but knowing his luck there would be no evidence that the gas could cause dilated pupils and he would look even more suspicious.

So, he truly could understand why his mum was constantly concerned for their health. Which is why it struck him as so odd that she had simply accepted what they had said and walked out. It made him think that she was up to something but what could she possibly be planning? She was only here for a few more nights, what little plan could she have concocted?

“Right, that’s everything isn’t it?” Dan asked, pulling Phil out of his musing.

“I think so.” Phil said. “I’ll help you through and then come back for the plates.”

“I’ll be alright.” Dan said. “It’s not that far, and there are no stairs.”

“No way.” Phil said resolutely.

“Fine.” Dan reckoned it would be a long shot. “Quick question; how the fuck do I get down from here?”

“Um, good question.” Phil said, cocking his head to the side as he tried to figure out the best way to get Dan off the counter. “Just slide down?”

When Phil had said slide down, he had meant for Dan to slide off the counter to his feet. Unfortunately as Dan slid of the counter he hadn’t quite managed to get his footing, and his cast slid against the tiles which would have sent him crashing violently to the ground and cracking his head against the hard floor, if it hadn’t been for Phil.

Clumsy Phil who was just as likely to fall down a flight of stairs rather than walking down them, who had just as much chance of spilling his morning coffee down his shirt as a five year old did. Somehow the man who had decided that it would be a good idea to pick a sharpie up off of the oven with his foot, and had consequently almost set his foot on fire, had managed to move quickly enough to catch Dan.

Somehow his movements were coordinated enough so that he ended up with Dan in his arms rather than accidently punching him in the face due to frantic flailing.

Dan genuinely felt as though he could have been in a state of shock. He had simply gone to move off of the counter and then his foot had slipped. It had been terrifying, there was the same sense of loss of control as he had gotten when he had fallen in the office and broken his arm and leg. He had accepted it, he was going to fall and it was going to be fucking painful because he was falling onto a tile floor, obviously, nobody carpeted their kitchen. They should try it, if they had then maybe this fall wouldn’t have been so painful.

Dan clenched his eyes shut, not wanting to deal with the sight of the room flipping as he fell, he prepared himself for the pain of the collision.

But it didn’t come.

Instead he felt something snake around his back and pull him in the opposite direction from what he was expecting.  His eyes flew open in shock as he was pulled against Phil’s chest. The closeness was a shock, he was living his younger self’s dream, he was so close to Phil that their breath seemed to mingle together and in that moment Dan wanted nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him.

No. That wasn’t true, it was just the closeness speaking. It was perfectly normal to think about kissing someone when you were so close to their mouth that you were essentially breathing their air.

“Damn, I thought that I had way too many near death experiences,” Phil said with a relieved laugh, “it looks like you're trying to beat me.”

“Uh.” Dan was lost for words, too focused on the fact that as Phil laughed his breath wafted over Dan’s face.

“Are you alright?” Phil asked.

“Um, yeah, I think so, thank you.” Dan stuttered.

“No problem, my mum would’ve killed me if you had actually gotten hurt.” Phil grinned as he righted Dan.

“Yeah, lucky.” Dan said with a weak laugh.

He was so stupid, of course Phil had caught Dan for that reason, why else would he have gotten so close into his personal space? His mum was practically famous within the Lester clan for her hatred of purposefully risky activities.

Phil could have smacked himself for saying that. He hadn’t stopped Dan for any reason other than the fact that he didn’t want to see him fall.  The fact that his daring rescue had ended up with Dan being so close was just an added bonus.

He had had Dan in his arms, pulled protectively against his chest and that was like a dream come true, except he had gone and made a stupid damn comment and now his chance was gone.

_What chance?_ He thought to himself, what on earth could he possibly think could have happened from that?

“So…um, food?” Dan asked.

“Yeah, come on.” Phil said, coming back to himself.

Dan felt Phil’s hand against his lower back, it was warm, almost burning hot. Like a beacon that was just screaming at him as if to say ‘ _Phil’s hand is on you’_ despite the fact that Phil constantly guided him around the flat and supported him that way, somehow it felt different this time.

Finally they were all seated at the table in the lounge with their food. It was weird to sit at the table to eat, but both Dan and Phil agreed the for the duration of Phil’s parents’ stay at the flat that they would at least attempt to act like functioning members of society, and that meant that they would eat their evening meal at the table like civilised humans.

It was actually a good idea, they had realised. Sitting at the table had meant that they had actual conversations and spoke to each other, rather than their usual evenings, when they would stick an anime on the tv and hunch over their plates as they shovelled food down their gullets.

Phil’s parents were leaving tomorrow, and whilst Phil was relieved that he would eventually be getting his bed back, he was also a tad sad to see them leave. It had been fun having them around, and hearing so much about what they had been up to, sure they facetimed and chatted on the phone, but there was a difference between talking to someone on the phone and actually talking to them in person.

“So then Martyn decided to throw away the burned chicken.” Phil’s mum explained. “Which was completely fine, I mean, none of us would have wanted to eat the charcoal chicken anyway, but instead of just explaining what had happened, he decided to pretend that there was never a chicken in the first place.”

“What? Why did he think that was a good idea?” Dan asked with a laugh.

“I don’t know, but it almost worked. It was his word against ours, because we didn’t think to look in the bin.” She explained. “We all thought we were going insane, we even sent him to the shop to just buy a ready cooked bit of meat so we could have our lunch.”

“He finally confessed later that night.” Phil’s dad added.

“Thankfully we were all so relieved that we weren’t actually going insane that we couldn’t even be mad.”

Phil smiled as he watched Dan talking animatedly with his parents, it was perfect, it was the situation that people dreamed of when they thought about the most important people in their lives coming together. It was peaceful, Phil’s family accepted Dan with open arms and Dan was thrilled to be accepted.

Although Phil did kind of wish that Dan wasn’t so good at remembering all his embarrassing moments, especially as he liked to describe them to any visitors they had over.

“We were at this fancy restaurant with a few friends and Phil, being a nice guy, decided to try and help the waiter who was practically laden with plates.” Dan said. “Unfortunately, while it was a nice idea, Phil didn’t consider the fact that the waiter had everything perfectly balanced and as Phil went to help him, he knocked off the poor guys balance and sent absolutely everything crashing to the floor.”

“Dan!” Phil objected.

“It was so embarrassing at the time, everyone was staring at us, Louise was vlogging it, she actually has the footage hidden somewhere, and this poor waiter was standing there covered in food and surrounded by broken dishes, looking as though Phil had just burned his house to the ground.”

“I hope you apologised.”

“Of course I did,” Phil said, “we offered to pay for the damages as well, but they didn’t seem to care much about it. Hopefully that means that I’m not the first person to make that mistake.”

“I mean, yeah, in your defence the guy was holding a lot, he practically looked like a pack mule.” Dan agreed.

“Exactly, he should have just taken two trips, it would have saved him so much time in the end.” Phil said. “Money too, I think he had to leave his shift early because he couldn’t work covered in food.”

Phil paused as he noticed the small smile playing on his mum’s mouth.

“What?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s nothing really.” She said. “I was just thinking about how much you two remind me of Martyn and Cornelia.”

Phil paused and considered that, had she meant that the way it sounded? Had she thought about that because she had picked up on the changing feelings on Phil’s behalf or was she referring to the obviously close bond that they had? That could be perceived as a platonic comparison or a romantic one, so which one was she implying?

Obviously it had to be platonic, there was nothing going on between him and Dan, and Dan would never want to go for a relationship with Phil, surely his mum knew that. Therefore it must have been Phil’s imagination working overtime, making links where there were none.

He glanced at Dan to see what he thought of her words, but Dan was staring determinedly at his plate, cheeks red. Phil would have thought that he was disgusted at the thought, except there was a slight hint of a smile on his mouth. He was actually smiling at the thought. What did that mean?

Did it mean that he was amused at the assumption that they acted like a couple? Or perhaps he was amused at the situation they were in? or maybe he was just smiling to get himself through the suddenly awkward situation he had been put in.

Either way Phil was confused, he was so unbelievably confused at all the new feelings and thoughts that were coursing through his mind. He tried to rationalise them to himself. It was perfectly normal to suddenly feel closer to Dan, after all he was pretty much helping Dan with everything. He was even standing right beside him whenever he needed to walk.

Phil tried to push the thoughts away, there was no point confusing himself now. He would enjoy his last night with family and then he would try to sort out his feelings at another time.

It just so happened that that time arrived later that evening after his parents had gone to bed.

They were getting ready to head to bed, as he had predicted it was nearly 2am, and Phil was complaining about the fact that he was going to have to spend another night on the most uncomfortable sofa bed in the history of sofa beds.

When Dan had said something completely unexpected.

“Why don’t you just sleep with me then?”

“What?”

“Not like that, you dweeb.” Dan laughed, his face going pink.

“I know what you meant.” Phil said.

“Do you want to? It’ll be like back when you still lived with your parents and we had to share your bed all the time.”

“Sure.” Phil said, secretly wishing that the completely friendly offer was based on slightly less platonic reasoning. “It’ll be just like old times, and it’ll be so much better than the sofa bed.”

Dan had regretted offering as soon as he had asked because what if Phil thought that he was strange for offering, or maybe he would realise that Dan’s feelings towards him were slightly more than friendship.

However Dan’s concerns were unfounded as a short while later he found himself lying on his back staring into the darkness of night with Phil beside him.

“What if your parents walk in?” Dan whispered suddenly.

“They won't, they’ll think that it’s just you in here.” Phil reminded him. “Plus, they saw us sharing a bed all the time back in 2009.”

“You're right.” Dan muttered.

Dan laid there wide awake as Phil’s breathing became slower and heavier. He was tired but he didn’t want to fall asleep because tomorrow Phil would be back in his own bed and if Dan fell asleep now then he was losing possibly the last chance he would get of experiencing Phil in bed beside him.

It was perfect, there was nothing that could improve that moment for Dan.

Except, there was, Phil had rolled over in his sleep and burrowed his way into Dan’s side subconsciously, and damn his broken arm because Dan wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Phil and hold him close.

Eventually, against his will Dan fell asleep with the scent of Phil’s fruity shampoo surrounding him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for sticking with me guys, im sorry if this seems a bit rushed but i have an exam in 2 days and just felt like i had to get this done before i could focus on my revision properly. 
> 
> so dan and phil sharing a bed huh? that could be awkward in the morning...and mother lester is over protective, i guess we know where phil got it from. plus lets be real, how are dan and phil still alive!? 
> 
> i hope you liked, even if it wasnt my best. if you did you might like the oneshot i wrote, its a fluffy phanfic on my profile, check it out? and i guess i'll see you all in a week!


	10. Chapter 10

Phil woke up feeling more comfortable than he had all week, he hadn’t opened his eyes yet, so he fully believed that he may as well have been floating on soft, white clouds and it was luxurious. He was sprawled out on something that was actually comfy, it wasn’t the rock hard sofa bed he had become accustomed to over the past few nights, there weren’t any wayward springs stabbing at his ribs or making him worry that they would actually pierce through the despairingly thin ‘mattress’ and puncture through his skin.

It took Phil a few moments to wake up enough to realise that he was nestled into something warm and soft, his arm was flung over what seemed to be another person as if to pull them closer to him, and even one of his legs was hitched up across the mystery person. All in all, he realised he was essentially cosplaying as a koala and whoever was lying next to him was his tree.

Embarrassingly, it took Phil a few moments to remember that he was lying in Dan’s bed. He was tempted to do a literal face palm because of course he was lying in Dan’s bed, it seemed so silly of him to forget about it. The ridiculous sofa bed was not this comfy and his parents were in his own bed, which meant that the only thing left was Dan’s bed. Which of course meant that the only person he could be wrapped around was Dan.

Phil tensed slightly before forcing himself to relax, he needed to pretend he was sleeping, just in case Dan was wide awake and staring and uncomfortably staring at the ceiling to avoid looking at him, after all Dan was really big on the whole personal space thing and waking up to having Phil practically infused to him would seriously freak him out. Especially when the fact that Dan slept only in his boxers was taken into account.

Phil wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he had woken up, he didn’t think it had been that long but he was feeling fairly confident that Dan was in fact asleep, his breathing had remained deep and steady and he hadn’t been moving around as though he was trying to dislodge Phil.

Finally Phil plucked up the courage to open his eyes.

Dan’s face was much closer than he had expected and Phil was relieved to see that he was still asleep.

That was the only thing Phil noticed though. He didn’t notice the way that Dan’s lips had fallen open in his sleep and the slight hint of white from his teeth, nor did he notice the slight curvature to said lips as though whatever it was that Dan was dreaming about was particularly pleasant. He didn’t even notice the way that Dan’s eyelashes appeared longer and darker when they were contrasting against his cheeks, or the slight twitch of his eyebrows or movement of his eyelids as he remained engrossed in his dreams. Phil didn’t even notice the way Dan’s hair had curled slightly or the fact that his fringe was no longer swept to the side, it was ruffled and stuck out in every direction, he also did not realise the way that sleep seemed to wash away all of Dan’s stress and make him look years younger. No, Phil didn’t notice any of that. Not at all.  

He really didn’t, he tried to convince himself, but the truth was that he noticed everything. It was like his eyes had absorbed as many details as they could without his permission, and what was worse was the fact that he wasn’t even upset, if anything he was amazed. He was astounded that he was actually lying in bed with Dan. All he wanted to do was lie there and stare but he knew that he would have to stop because if Dan woke up to find Phil squinting at him he would probably freak out.

He could almost hear his voice, “ _what the fuck, Phil? Are you trying to be Edward freaking Cullen? You scared the shit out of me!”_ it was rather amusing to think about, and not because Phil wanted to see Dan freak out but because he wanted to see Dan wake up.

Was it wrong of him to wish that he could wake up beside Dan every morning? Probably.

He needed to stop thinking about things that would never happen, he had bigger fish to fry right now, such as removing himself from Dan in a way that wouldn’t wake him with the movement.

It was a slow process but eventually Phil had extracted himself from his best friend and was lying on his back staring at the ceiling. Somehow the bed felt less comfortable and colder now that he was essentially sleeping on his own side of the bed. It was ridiculous of him to feel so lonely now that he was away from Dan, after all his parents were leaving today so he would be back in his own bed that night. He had slept alone for years, why was he only just starting to feel that pang of loneliness now? Why was he wishing that his parents would stay a few more nights so that he could continue to share Dan’s bed? It was selfish of him and he shouldn’t want his parents to stay for that reason, he should have wanted them to stay because he would’ve liked to spend more time with them.

The internet often called him a lovely, kind person, but how could that be true when he was thinking such egocentric thoughts.

Maybe it was just the loneliness getting to him. He really needed to get out more, maybe go on a few dates. He’d been single for so long, it wasn’t really much of a surprise that he was starting to feel this way.

Thankfully Dan seemed to be waking up and Phil was pulled out of his thoughts. He watched blurrily through the corner of his eye as Dan’s good arm was flung across this eyes to protect himself from the sunlight that filtered through the edges of the blinds.

“Ugh.” Dan groaned and let his hand slip from his face as he blinked blearily at the ceiling. “What time is it?”

Phil jumped, not expected Dan to ask him a question directly, how had he managed to remember that Phil was in his bed when Phil was the one clinging to Dan and he had a mild freak out.

“Uh, I don’t know, I left my phone on the lounge, and I don’t have my glasses or contacts.” Phil said, hoping that Dan would blame the hoarseness of his voice on the fact that he had just woken up and not on anything else.

“Oh right, yeah, sorry.” Dan muttered and grabbed his own phone from the bedside counter, blinking against the brightness of the screen. “It’s just after nine.”

“We should probably get up.” Phil sighed.

“Yeah.”

Phil made no efforts to move and he noticed that Dan didn’t either. He wasn’t sure why Dan hadn’t moved, but he was personally too contented to move.

“So getting up?” Phil prompted reluctantly.

“I know, I know.” Dan groaned. “I’m just too comfy to move.”

Phil tried not to read into that, he wanted to think that Dan was feeling comfortable because he was in the bed with Phil, but the truth was that this was Dan’s bed and he was probably comfortable for that reason and that reason alone.

“You're right though,” Dan grumbled eventually, “your parents’ taxi is booked for half ten, so if we don’t get up and have breakfast with them, then they’ll come and look for us.”

Phil snorted as he reluctantly sat up.

“Yeah, and they’ll probably see us in bed together and get the wrong idea entirely.” Phil joked.

He wished he hadn’t. He saw the slightly recoil that Dan did and the miniscule frown that smoothed out faster than Phil thought was possible, so fast in fact that he almost thought he had imagined it, but he wasn’t that lucky. He now knew exactly what Dan thought of a relationship between the two of them.

No, that didn’t make sense. It couldn’t, because Dan tended to act flirty around him sometimes and he didn’t recoil if Phil played along, that was just the way that their relationship was. Plus, he wasn’t blind. He saw the way Dan would get flustered around him when he was younger, he had walked around Manchester with a guy who looked like he had extreme sunburn for hours and he may have decided to be polite and ignore the fact that Dan had looked like a tomato, but just being he hadn’t commented on it did not mean that he hadn’t been aware.

Not that Phil could help himself, he had liked to make it worse by flirting as much as possible and winding Dan up as best he could, he would never admit it to Dan but he thought it was adorable that Dan was so nervous around him in the beginning, even though they had skyped non-stop and texted constantly, there was something about meeting in person that was more real and completely new territory. Also it had taught Phil that the webcam that Dan used was truly shit. It hadn’t showed how perfectly smooth Dan’s features were and it sucked the life and colour out of the image on Phil’s laptop screen.

Phil had never seen Dan blush properly before October 2009, and after that day he had vowed to himself that he would make sure that Dan’s blush was forever imprinted in his mind. It had been a good idea and Phil had enjoyed the insane banter between the two of them, especially as he found it so easy to get a rise out of Dan.

Something changed in 2012, Phil wasn’t sure what it was, but all of a sudden there was a barrier between them, it was invisible yet impenetrable and Phil was fairly sure that it had been built by Dan. It was solid and scary and Phil could easily document the change in Dan through the fading colour on his cheeks. Once upon a time he just had to grin at Dan to have the red hue rising on his cheeks but then after Dan built the wall it ended up with Phil being almost certain that even if he decided to give Dan a strip tease followed by a lap dance in front of both of their parents, Dan would barely bat an eye. He hadn’t attempted that, obviously, but he had been very tempted.

So when Dan had offered to let him share his bed it had been amazing, even though the wall had been chipped at and slowly broken down, it was as though Dan had taken a sledgehammer to it. He had offered something that he wouldn’t have dreamed of a few years ago, which is why Phil had jumped at the chance rather than deliberating over it and pondering whether it would be good for their friendship or if Dan actually meant the offer and wasn’t just being polite, no he grabbed the opportunity tight in both hands and jumped in headfirst.

But why had Dan recoiled like that?

Nothing made any sense at the moment, there was so much going through Phil’s mind, reasons why Dan could potentially like him, reasons why that was completely impossible, reasons why he was going insane. It was never ending.

Dan was slightly confused. Phil had actually said that thing that he had just said. The words had shocked him so much that he had jumped as though someone had slapped him. Did Phil know? Had he realised that Dan felt the way he did about him? Everything was so confusing and bewildering and Dan wanted nothing more in that moment that to turn around and make a witty comment about how they should just let people make all the assumptions they wanted because in the end it didn’t matter and the only people who did matter were himself and Phil.

His head was spinning, he needed to stop.

“Dan? Are you alright?” Phil asked hesitantly.

“What? Yeah, of course I am.” Dan said with forced cheer that didn’t quite sound right even to himself. “I’m waiting on you to help drag my useless ass out of bed.”

“Your ass is not useless.” Phil said. “I mean, um, oh wow that sounded wrong.”

“You’re such a spork, Phil.” Dan said, hoping that his face hadn’t shown his amusement at Phil’s mistake. “Now come on, up and at ‘em. Haul this not so useless ass out of bed so that we can avoid scarring your parents for life.”

“Wow, hearing you say that would probably scar them more than anything else.” Phil muttered but he finally tugged Dan out of the bed and gave him a t shirt and a pair of sweatpants. “Here, put these on, I don’t think my parents want to see you stumbling about the place in your boxers.”

“Rude.” Dan muttered. “They should be honoured.”

Dan took the clothes anyway and slipped them on before looking expectantly at Phil for further instructions.

“You know how to get out of bed.” Phil reminded him slowly, as if Dan had turned into a four year old overnight.

“Shut up, you're so mean to me.” Dan grumbled jokingly.

“I’m literally carrying you to the lounge, do you really want to go there?” Phil asked.

“You're not ‘literally carrying’ me anywhere.” Dan retorted. “You're simply supporting me as I walk to the lounge.”

“I’ll simply support your-“

“His what, Phil?” Phil’s mum asked suddenly as she materialised in the doorway of the lounge.

“Um, frame?” Phil asked.

“Nice try.” His mum said.

“Yeah, you could’ve done worse.” Dan commented.

“I will let go of you.” Phil threatened.

“No you won't.” Dan said surely. “Anyways, I can balance and walk, I'm just not that stable and there’s a chance that I’ll face plant the floor.

“No one is face planting anything.” Phil’s mum said.

“Of course not.” Phil agreed.

Dan was always amused to see what a mummy’s boy Phil was. Phil absolutely adored his parents in a way that made Dan’s heart simultaneously flutter and ache because Dan couldn’t relate. He wanted to. More than anything in the world, he wished that he had a relationship with his parents like the one the Lesters had, but it just wasn’t going to happen. For one, Dan didn’t feel an intense need to call his parents every single day or to tell them about the little things that they were planning on doing, in fact sometimes Dan forgot to tell them about the big things going on in their lives and Phil had to constantly remind him to call them.

Dan was jealous of the ease in which Phil could call his parents and chat about nothing in particular, whenever Dan called his parents he would plan out exactly what he was going to say and how to say it, he would try and remember if anything interesting had happened since the last phone call so that he could mention it and they wouldn’t be able to say that he had forgotten to tell them something.

The problem was that Phil was good at talking to people and Dan just wasn’t. Phil could bump into one of their viewers outside and stand and chat happily for a while whereas Dan would awkwardly say hello, make a peace sign in the selfie and hope that whoever had been brave enough to walk up to him and ask for a selfie was also brave enough to take charge of the conversation. Usually they were.

Maybe it was just that Phil was a lot more laid back than Dan was. If Dan’s parents were coming to stay his mind would go into overdrive and he would need to plan everything out. He would plan everything from entertainment – would they do the touristy things or would they expect Dan and Phil to entertain them in the flat? – All the way to meal plans – were they going out to any restaurants? Did they want Dan to cook? Did they want to order a takeaway?

It never ended in Dan’s mind, there were so many things to plan for and there was so much stress involved in each little plan. Phil didn’t have that problem. He would simply announce that his parents would be visiting and that was that. Even though it was Phil’s parents visiting, Dan would start planning and preparing things only for Phil to stop him with a shrug and a passing comment about how his parents don’t expect them to plan anything and they’ll just make it up when they get there.

Phil had been right – of course – his parents had not expected anything, they had simply enjoyed the time that they had spent with Phil and with Dan, which was nice. Dan hadn’t expected that to be honest, it was strange, sure they had always taken an interest in him because he was Phil’s best friend and he had spent so many nights sleeping in their ‘guest room’ back in Manchester but now there was a difference. Dan wasn’t sure what had changed but he knew that something had and he was just hoping that it would continue to be a good change.

It was a peaceful morning, they spent it sipping coffee and chatting about the fond memories they had, Dan was especially intrigued by the numerous embarrassing stories about Phil that were being told. He especially like the one which featured a twelve year old Phil returning home with a flea ridden dog that was covered in scars and missing an eye. Little Phil had declared it to be the friendliest dog in the world going so far as to even say ‘Look, mum, he’s smiling’, at which Phil’s mum had hauled Phil indoors and locked the smiling dog outside, to this day Phil still insisted that it was smiling, even when his mum told him that smiling dogs didn’t growl.

Finally the time came for them to leave, much to Dan and Phil’s disappointment, it had been fun having them stay. They said their goodbyes and Phil’s mum swept him in for a hug. It was interesting to say the least, as Phil’s mum hugged him, Dan noticed that she had whispered something in his ear and the curiosity was overwhelming because whatever it was, it made Phil look at her with the expression of a deer in the headlights, he had been completely bewildered but there was also a small smile playing on his lips. Dan was dying to know what she had said to him, but unless Phil told him, there was a chance he would never find out.

Dan soon forgot about the whisper, however, as she pulled him in for a hug.

Dan had his own message.

“He’s always missed things that are right in front of his eyes, just give him a chance and some time.”

He was on autopilot as he said goodbye to the Lesters. His entire mind focused on the words that had been whispered in his ear and somehow had managed to burrow into his brain and sneak their way to his heart. Had she meant what he thought she meant? If so, how could she know? Did that mean that she thought Phil felt the same way? Was she just hoping for the best? Had she been on Tumblr?

 He was so confused and apparently Phil was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice that Dan was a lot quieter than usual. They spent the rest of the day in silence watching a crappy anime that neither of them really bothered to read the subtitles for, they just watched the colourful characters dash across the screen blankly. Side by side, and yet they had never been further away from each other than in that moment.

They ordered pizza, somehow they must have broken a world record for the pizza order with the fewest words spoken between two people. They weren’t ignoring each other, not on purpose at least, the trouble was that they both had something on their mind, something that was potentially life changing or soul destroying.

Eventually Phil helped Dan settle in his bed that evening before returning to his own room to ponder some more on what his mum had said to him. Dan on the other hand, was so completely and utterly exhausted from all of the thinking he had been doing, fell asleep straight away. Sinking away from a world full of hope, fear and unrequited feelings into a dream in which there was no doubts or fears and Phil was there holding unconditional love in his heart for Dan.

“Dan.”

“Dan, hey, psst.”

“Daaaannn.”

“Dan, wake up damn it.”

“What do you want?” Dan mumbled as he blearily opened his eyes, his sweet dreams fizzling away into nothingness. He wasn’t prepared for the sight of Phil’s face to be only inches away from his eyes, Phil was staring intensely into Dan’s eyes as though he were trying to convey an important message, his pupils wide from the dim lighting, Dan didn’t move for fear of breaking the spell and realising that this was actually the dream.

“I need to talk to you.” Phil said seriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was meant to be posted yesterday but then i almost finished writing the chapter and my laptop died on me smh (lesson: save it as you go = learned) so now it is nearly 2am im absolutely knackered and this is about 400 words shorter than id be happy with but i hope you enjoy anyway. there may have been the odd typo but you can blame the time for that, i did my best to check through it but ill return to it after ive slept, i just wanted you to have this because youve all been so wonderful and supportive. 
> 
> follow me on tumblr @existentialcatwhiskers 
> 
> this fic is nominated for best AO3 fic in the phanfic awards 2016, id be eternally grateful if youd maybe vote? (no pressure)
> 
> love you guys so much! thanks again for the support! <3 xxx


	11. The Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter we've all been waiting for! hopefully i managed to capture the full awkwardness of this conversation

“Dan.” Phil whined as he poked Dan’s cheek.

“Ow, what the fuck?” Dan mumbled, his voice thick with sleep, as he clumsily pressed his good hand to face.

“You didn’t answer me,” Phil explained, “I said I need to talk to you.”

“I heard you.” Dan said, pushing himself up with his good leg and his elbow so that he was in a semi seated position, Phil moved away slightly to allow Dan room to sit up but remained rather close nevertheless. “I’m just confused, why was this a conversation that we needed to have at ridiculous o’clock?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” Phil said, as though that should have explained everything; it didn’t.

“Right.” Dan said.

“I’m doing a really bad job of explaining this.” Phil muttered.

“Since I had absolutely no idea what you’re trying to explain, then yeah, I would say you're doing a pretty crappy job of it.” Dan said. “What time is it anyway?”

“It’s just after half three.” Phil admitted.

“Half thr- Phil!” Dan complained. “It’s like the middle of the night, what on earth could you want to talk about right now?”

“Important stuff.” Phil said.

“Come on, seriously?” Dan whined. “You and I both know that the important conversations aren’t the ones that you should have at three in the morning.”

“I need to talk about this now, otherwise I’ll chicken out.” Phil admitted.

That piqued Dan’s curiousity, what the hell could Phil want to talk about? A list of things ran through his mind but none of them required much confidence to talk about, and they weren’t really things that would require a three o’clock in the morning conversation.

“If this is something that’s _that_ important maybe you should think it through more.” Dan suggested. “Just tell me this, is it bad?”

“Depends on what you say.” Phil muttered, the truth was it could go either way.

“Are you going to hover above me in the dark for the entire conversation or what?” Dan asked, as he fumbled for his phone. He blinked against the bright light of his screen and squinted to see the time. Damn, Phil wasn’t lying, it was 03:37, the numbers seemed offensive somehow as though they were teasing Dan and rubbing it in that he was awake at such a ridiculous time.

“Oh sorry.” Phil said. “I’ll put the light on.”

Dan frowned as Phil moved away to turn on the amber lamp. Why was Phil acting so odd? It was beyond weird and Dan didn’t really want to admit it but Phil’s strange behaviour was beginning to freak him out. It was unusual for Phil to be so unsure and hesitant about talking to Dan, they normally sat and talked about everything, if one of them had something on their mind then they would sit and talk it through together. There was nothing that they would usually feel too awkward to discuss, but now with Phil acting so on edge, Dan felt an uncomfortable uneasiness in his stomach, he wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear what Phil had to say.  

The light flicked on and Dan waiting until Phil settled on the bed beside him. There was an uncomfortable silence as Dan waited for Phil to get his thoughts together enough to start talking about whatever it was that was concerning him.

“Um, Phil, are you actually going to talk?” Dan asked eventually.

“Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out how to say what I need to say.” Phil admitted. “It’s weird because I’ve spent so long imagining all the different ways I could say this and how you would react, but now that I’ve actually come through here and I’m in the position to actually make all those thoughts and imagined scenarios come true, I’m at a bit of a loss on what to say.”

“Well, I’m not going anywhere.” Dan said with a reassuring smile. “I mean that literally, I physically cannot get up and leave unless you help me and that’s a bit moot because then you could just keep talking as you help me leave the room.”

That was a stretch, physically Dan could get up and leave the room, but it would mean risking an embarrassing fall and injuring himself even more.

“I wouldn’t do that.” Phil said. “If you don’t like what I have to say then just let me know and I’ll go away.”

“Phil, I was joking, but you're starting to worry me now.” Dan said. “What’s got your knicker’s in a twist?”

“What did my mum say to you before she left?” Phil asked, getting straight to the point which surprised Dan as he was expecting Phil to hedge around the subject for a little while longer, but it seemed that whatever was on his mind was too urgent to procrastinate speaking about.

“Uh nothing overly important.” Dan said evasively hoping that he was just imagining how warm his cheeks had suddenly become. There was no way that Phil would miss it if he actually blushed, not when he was in this sort of mood. Everything Dan said or did seemed to be being psychoanalysed by Phil in those moments and it was really strange and disconcerting, especially as Dan was aware that his reaction could either make Phil spill his guts or bottle everything up so that this night would eventually just become a bizarre memory that neither of them would speak about.

“Come on, she must have said something important, you practically turned beetroot after she whispered something to you.” Phil insisted.

“Fine then, I’ll tell you what she said to me, if you tell me what she said to you.” Dan offered.

“What? No, I don’t want to do that, not without hearing what she told you!” Phil practically yelped.

They had reached a stalemate, both of them were aware that Phil’s mum had said something important to the other but neither were willing to admit what it was. Unfortunately it seemed to Dan that Phil had been basing the beginning of this conversation upon figuring out what it was that Dan had been told, because now he was sitting looking completely flummoxed and at a loss for words. 

“Phil, its getting closer and closer to four in the morning and you said you wanted to talk, so either do or turn the light off and go to sleep.” Dan muttered, hoping that Phil had missed the fact that Dan had accidently, inadvertently asked him to sleep in his bed again.

“No, no, I'm going to say it, I have to.” Phil mumbled. “I can't keep going on hiding this and wondering whether you're in the same boat as me. I mean this could change everything, our entire lives are built upon a certain foundation and this conversation could strengthen it or cause it to crumble, which makes it slightly scary but if we don’t talk about this then that foundation will end up crumbling eventually anyway.”

“That would be a lovely metaphor, Phil, if I understood what the heck you were on about.” Dan sighed.

“I’m sorry I'm being so confusing, I just don’t know how to do this, I thought I would since I’ve spent so much time trying to think it through and I’ve rehearsed what I wanted to say but now that I’m actually here what I planned on saying seems so stupid and I'm beginning to think that this is actually a really bad idea and I should jus-”

“Jesus Christ, Phil, just be quiet for a second.” Dan interrupted. “You’re going around in circles. Take a deep breath and think about what you want to say and then just say it.”

“It’s not that easy.” Phil said.

“It really is, no matter what you have to say, I promise I will listen to you and let you explain what the hell is going on in that bizarre mind of yours. I'm not going anywhere, just take your time.” Dan promised.

“Alright, I'm running the risk of ruining our friendship here but, I like you.” Phil mumbled, the words were almost too quiet for Dan to hear but he managed to somehow discern them.

“That’s not something that would ruin our friendship, you spoon, isn’t it like a requirement to like each other?” Dan asked.

A small part of Dan’s mind was focussed on the other way that sentence could have been taken. Those were risky words to use to express feelings of fondness but then Phil had always been one for accidental innuendos and slightly risqué hand gestures. It was like a small spear to Dan’s chest because for a moment he imagined how different their lives could actually be if Phil had meant that declaration as in the middle school teenager way of _like_ liking somebody.

What if he did though? Dan froze for a moment. That would make more sense, wouldn’t it? Phil wasn’t the sort of person who would typically lose sleep over thinking about how much his best friend meant to him, and telling your friend that you platonically liked them wasn’t the sort of thing that caused a falling out. Telling your friend that you had romantic feelings for them was the sort of thing that caused people to break apart.

Trust Phil to word his feelings in such a way that made Dan feel like an awkward fifteen year old who was trying to get a date to the school dance. It was so Phil.

“Well, yeah, but I didn’t mean like that.” Phil muttered in reply to Dan.

“Right, yeah, I think I'm getting that now.” Dan said.

He wanted it to be true, but how could he know that this was really real? Was Phil completely sure that he felt this way, or had he been browsing Tumblr and had read a phanfiction that painted Dan as some amazing bloke when in actual fact he was a gigantic sexually ambiguous nerd? Had Phil developed feelings for real Dan or internet Dan?

“I’m not running away or making fun of you.” Dan reassured Phil. “I do need to know though, what brought this on?”

“Honestly? It started back in 2009, at the beginning of the year while we were skyping before you came to visit me.” Phil admitted.

“Seriously? That long? Why did you never say anything back then?” Dan asked.

“I wanted to, I actually fully intended to when you came to meet me and then I saw you there in the train station and I wanted nothing more to confess how I felt to you, but you had just gotten off the train and you were tired and oh my god, Dan you looked so young and all I could think about was what if you didn’t feel the same way and then you stopped seeing me as a friend and started to see me as that creepy older guy from the internet who invited you to stay with him while his parents were away.” Phil explained.

“I would have never thought that.” Dan said honestly.

“Honestly, every single time you came to visit I was always like ‘right this is it, this time I’ll tell him how I really feel’ and then I just chickened out, and then you moved in with me and I couldn’t risk us falling out over something like a relationship and having all the joint bills that we would have to deal with, and _then_ we moved to London and we had nothing. We had literally nothing and it was a stressful time and I just forced myself to get over my feelings by telling myself that you would never reciprocate them.” Phil confessed.

“Jesus fucking Christ on a paddle boat, Phil, you're so blind sometimes.” Dan said with an exasperated chuckle into his good hand. “What made you change your mind? Why are you telling me all of this now?”

“Uh, my mum might have said something that made me realise how much I was risking by being quiet.” Phil admitted.

“What did she say to you?” Dan asked curiously.

“She basically told me that I was being an idiot and that anyone with eyes could see the connection we have, she also said that I needed to pull my finger out and confess before you found someone else to make you happy.” Phil said, the dim amber lighting accentuating his features as he frowned slightly at the mention of Dan finding somebody else.

“I wouldn’t have found anyone else, I mean I’d have to go outside to do that.” Dan said trying to get rid of the upset look that was so foreign on Phil’s face. It was strange to see him without his trademark smirky smile.

“Still, it made me think.” Phil said. “What would happen if I never confessed to you how I felt? You joke and say that you never go outside but eventually, all jokes aside, you would have met someone and moved on with your life, and what would I do? I'm nearly thirty and I’ve had feelings for you for eight years. They haven’t faded or disappeared which makes me wonder if they ever will? When you move on, what happens to me?”

“Phil, you know I’d never go anywhere without you.” Dan said, feeling uneasy at the thought of meeting someone other than Phil, he didn’t want that. Not in the slightest.

“If you meet someone you love you will, and then I’ll probably be stuck with this flat and all the memories, I’ll just relive all the chances I had to tell you the truth and end up hating myself for not confessing.” Phil said, staring at the ceiling as he spoke. “How awful would it be to live with the bittersweet memories of unrequited love?”

_Love?_

“I guess that’s still the likelihood, but at least now that I'm telling you the truth, I’ll know for sure and I won't have to live with the thoughts of ‘what if’.” Phil said.

“Are you actually kidding me?” Dan asked. “I’ve had a crush on you ever since I first watched your videos, do you really think I first started watching you for the content? No, Phil, I was like seriously attracted to you and then I watched so many of your videos that I started to admire your personality and then I really wanted to meet you, and basically by that point we were at the fanboy stage.”

“You were attracted to me?” Phil asked.

“I kinda still am.” Dan admitted awkwardly, they were literally half sitting, half lying side by side and staring at Dan’s dimly lit bedroom ceiling as they confessed the feelings that they had both kept secret for longer than they should have.

“Are you just saying that to make me feel like less of an idiot for waking you up in the middle of the night to confess my feelings?” Phil asked.

“Of course not.” Dan said. “I would never pretend to have feelings for someone if they weren’t real.”

“Are we really doing this right now?” Phil asked.

“Depends what you mean.”

“I’ve just told you that I have feelings for you, are you really admitting the same thing to me?” Phil asked.

“That’s exactly what’s happening.” Dan said with a smile. “The only question is, where do we go from here?”

“That’s what I was wondering too.” Phil admitted. “There’s a lot we need to take into account I mean this isn’t just us is it? There’s all of our viewers and friends to take into account. If this goes wrong it’s not just me and you who’ll be affected.”

“Why can't it just be me and you?” Dan asked suddenly. “Everything we do is on the internet, everything we do is _for_ the internet, why can't we just take some time for ourselves? Why can't we just be selfish this once?”

“Because it affects so many people.” Phil sighed.

“So what? I mean I understand what you're saying and I know what the ramifications will be if this goes wrong but why don’t we just take that risk?” Dan asked. “If we’re going to do this, let’s do it properly. We can keep it between ourselves for a while, make sure that we’re sure this is what we want before announcing it to other people, but if we do it we need to give it our all.”

“That actually makes a lot of sense, you know?” Phil said with a slight grin. “You’re right, if we’re doing this then we’re doing it for ourselves not for anyone else. A relationship is between two people, not two people and a further couple of million.”

“So we’re really doing this?” Dan asked.

“Yes.”

“We’re really, genuinely doing what I think we’re doing?” Dan double checked.

“Yes, why are you finding this so hard to believe?” Phil asked with a small giggle.

“Because you’re Phil. AmazingPhil. My YouTube senpai, practically my idol. Excuse me while I have a Yuuri Katsuki moment.” Dan said.

“You’re such a dork.” Phil muttered.

“Yeah but now I’m your dork.” Dan said giddily.

“If it wasn’t for the fact that you have a broken arm and leg, I would have pushed you out of the bed.” Phil said with a laugh.

It was amazing. The familiar feeling of butterflies in Dan’s stomach seemed so much more intense now, it was almost as though they knew that he was allowed to feel this way now. There was nothing stopping him from staring at Phil now, he would have done it anyway, but now it meant so much more. He still felt as though he could be in a state of shock, Phil had woken him up half way through the night and awkwardly confessed his feelings. There was something so Phil about the entire situation and yet Dan wasn’t entirely sure that he wasn’t actually just dreaming. What were the chances that Phil had actually felt the same way as he had?

“Does this make us boyfriends?” Dan asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“I’d like to think so, if you're happy with that too?” Phil said.

“I think that I would love to be your boyfriend.” Dan smiled.

“Oh god, I’m just imagining trying to come up with an answer when people ask us how we got together.” Phil said.

“Everyone will think we’re lying.” Dan said with a snort of amusement. “I mean, everyone thinks we’ve been dating since 2009.”

“How come millions of people are more tuned into our relationship than we are? We’ve been so completely blind.” Phil whined. “I mean I knew how I felt about you and I was always hoping that you felt the same but to actual hear it is pretty surreal.”

“We’ve wasted so much time.” Dan sighed. “The entire internet picked up on all the longing looks between us and we remained blind to each other.”

“Don’t say longing looks.” Phil said.

“What? Would you prefer if I said ‘love eyes Lester’? Or how about ‘heart eyes Howell’?” Dan teased.

“I should have stayed in my own bed.” Phil muttered to himself.

Dan laughed and poked Phil’s side playfully, what he didn’t expect though, was for Phil to grab his hand before he could retract it. Dan let him hold his hand, watching curiously as Phil seemed to gently turn it in his own hands, fiddling with his fingers and stroking his wrist gently.

“What are you doing?” Dan asked quietly.

“Just getting used to the fact that I can grab your hand whenever I want to.” Phil said equally as quiet. “It’s nice, like all I have to do is reach out and hold it.”

“That’s kind of the point of hand holding, Phil.” Dan said with a smirk as he adjusted their hands so that Phil was no longer fiddling with his fingers and instead Dan’s hand was properly clasped in his.

“Is it weird how well your hand fits in mine?” Phil asked, speaking so softly that Dan wasn’t even sure that he was meant to hear it.

“I think that it’s a good sign.” Dan grinned.

Suddenly Phil’s hand was pulled away from Dan’s with a sense of urgency that made Dan panic for a moment and think that he had done something wrong. The panic was short lived as he was all too soon focussed on the fact that Phil was now sitting up very close beside him. His eyes looked even more intense in the dim light.

“What is it?” Dan asked.

“I’ve just realised something.” Phil said with his usual lopsided smirk that Dan loved so much.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Phil said. “I realised that I could do this now.”

And with that Phil’s face was suddenly very close to Dan’s and Dan had to wonder if his eyes had always been so _blue_ , he paused staring into Dan’s eyes as though waiting, giving him the opportunity to back away or tell Phil to go away, which was not going to happen. Dan had been waiting for this moment for literally a third of his life. Instead Dan grabbed Phil’s hand in his and pulled him closer.

That was all the consent Phil needed. In that moment Phil’s lips were on Dan’s and his free hand that Dan hadn’t ensnared was wrapped around the back of Dan’s neck, splayed out so that his thumb was brushing against Dan’s collarbone and Dan, who usually hated his neck being touched, felt himself leaning into it. Phil’s lips were hot against Dan’s and somewhere in the back of his mind Dan hoped that he didn’t have morning breath. That thought quickly vanished however as his mind focussed on the fact that he was actually kissing Phil.

It was better than anything he could have dreamed of; their mouths open slightly and Dan being able to taste Phil in his mouth, the feeling of Phil’s lips moving against his own, the reassuring hand on his neck, the smell of Phil’s shower gel and aftershave, the way their hands remained together throughout the entire kiss…

As Phil pulled away to breathe Dan found himself grinning, and Phil laughed in return, his face still so close that the laugh caused his breath to waft across Dan’s face. Dan felt so happy that he could have burst into giggles, there was nothing quite like the hot, fluttery feeling in his chest that made him want nothing more than to pull Phil in for another kiss and simultaneously laugh until he cried because he was just so damn happy.

“That was better than I could have imagined.” Phil said with a breathy chuckle.

“Oh yeah.” Dan agreed.

“Although,” Phil said and Dan saw the wicked, teasing glint in his eye, “next time we go shopping I am definitely buying you some chapstick.”

“Shut up, you doofus!” Dan laughed shoving at Phil’s shoulder. “See if you get another kiss now.”

Phil laughed at that, a full on, head thrown back, tongue poking out through the teeth, shoulder shaking laugh. Dan had never seen anything more beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i make you die of 2nd hand embarrassment? was it awkward? i hope so :') i was trying to channel the full cringeyness of that sort of conversation, but anyways there it was! what did you think? did you like? i had a lot of people telling me i was evil for leaving the last chapter as i did, so hopefully i made up for it with this >:] 
> 
> i just wanted to say thank you for all your kind comments and support! I cant believe that we have reached and surpassed 10k hits! thats surreal and more than i could have ever dreamed of! and over 40k words, seriously tho wtf!?
> 
> my guess is that there is probably only going to be one more chapter to this fic, its been a fun journey friends:D 
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr @existentialcatwhiskers
> 
> i did a quick read through but there is only 10 minutes of sunday left and i promised this chapter today so if there's any other errors i will correct them (i promise)


	12. The End

“Stop fidgeting.”

“I can't, what if they cut through the plaster and end up cutting off my arm?” Dan asked in a panic.

“It doesn’t work like that.” Phil reminded him. “The saw is perfectly safe, just relax.”

“Oh, god, I thought it was embarrassing having to film videos looking like a bloody transformer with these casts, it’s going to be so much worse when I have to admit that the doctor sawed my actual arm off. Do you think they’ll at least numb the area first?” Dan asked.

“You won't be losing anything today, except your consciousness if you don’t calm down.” Phil threatened.

“Rude.” Dan muttered. “You don’t threaten to knock out a guy who is literally about to lose an arm. Talk about kicking me while I'm down.”

“I’m going to kick you in a minute.” Phil muttered. “I mean seriously, for a guy who spends hours going on ‘epic’ Wikipedia quests, you would think that you would have a little more knowledge on this sort of thing.”

“First of all, I can sense your scepticism about the epicness of my quests and that’s rude, and second of all, do you really think anything I learn from those two in the morning browsing sessions is useful?” Dan asked. “I can tell you that Xenodochus is a genus of beetles in the family Carabidae, but I don’t know anything about evil cast saws.”

“I’m so glad that you're putting your time to such good use.” Phil said wryly.

“Fine then, ‘o wise one, what do you know about the cast saw?” Dan asked.

“I know that the blade vibrates instead of spinning and that means that it cuts when there is resistance, which means that the cast gets cut but your skin doesn’t because it’s much softer and elastic.” Phil said.

“How the fuck do you know that?” Dan asked, staring at Phil in shock.

“I did break my hand once,” Phil reminded him, “and I think clumsiness is just a Lester genetic trait.”

“Oh yeah, you and your bloody university life.” Dan smirked.

“Hey, I was a good student.” Phil protested.

“You stole a road sign.” Dan deadpanned.

“Shh,” Phil said quickly, “the internet still thinks that it was my friend who stole that.”

“Of course, those sleepless night videos, seriously I always know when you’ve been filming one of those because you end up leaving random crap all over the place, and there’s never any cereal when I wake up either.”

“Is this just attack Phil day?” Phil muttered to himself.

“If the shoe fits.” Dan grinned cheekily, poking Phil in the side.

“You know, whenever someone says ‘if the shoe fits’ I always think of Toy Story 2.” Phil said.

“Of course.”

“Daniel Howell.” A short man holding a clipboard called out as he walked into the room. Dan screwed his nose up but somehow managed to stop himself from correcting the man, and telling him to call him Dan.

“That’s me.” He said.

He had walked a few steps before noticing the empty space at his right side, he paused and turned to see Phil sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chair still.

“Aren’t you coming?” he asked him.

“Do you want me to?” Phil asked, looking unsure of himself.

“Of course I do, you spoon.” Dan said rolling his eyes. “Do you seriously think I’m going to go in there and let them cut my arm off alone?”

“You’re actually worried aren’t you?” Phil asked quietly as they followed the man out of the waiting room.

“What? No. I'm just having a laugh, obviously.” Dan said instantly but Phil saw straight through it, and he just gave Dan an understanding smile and linked his pinkie finger through Dan’s as he knew that holding hands was too risky in a place like this, anyone could be a possible viewer and they just had to assume that everyone was carrying a phone and had the potential to take a sneaky picture of them holding hands and uploading it to the internet. It wasn’t that they were trying to hide their relationship per se. not at all. They had spent a long time discussing their relationship though, before coming to the agreement that if they were outed then so be it, they weren’t ashamed of their relationship and they didn’t care who knew about it, but it had only been just over a month since that night when Phil had taken the clumsy, awkward initiative to change everything, and they had wanted to spend some time with it being just them for a while.

It was actually rather amusing to see all the speculation on Tumblr now that they knew it was real. The theories ranged from being spot on and so accurate that it was actually slightly intimidating to being so out there that they didn’t know whether to laugh or shake their heads in baffled confusion.

Dan relaxed minutely as he felt Phil’s finger link with his and flashed him a grateful smile. It still amazed him that he could just reach out and touch Phil whenever he wanted. A few days after they had ‘officially’ gotten together, they had been lying on the sofa together while, totally legally, watching a movie and Dan had reached up and poked Phil’s cheek. For no other reason than to prove that he could. Phil had found it greatly amusing and thus the great poking war had begun. It had even managed to infiltrate some of their videos and they didn’t even care.

Anyone could see that they had changed, their relationship was different, they were somehow different, but no one was able to pin down exactly what it was. A lot of the speculation suggested that maybe he and Phil were testing the waters so that they could come out, others suggested they had secretly gotten married, others thought they were buying a house together and getting a dog. It was amusing because all of the theories were based on the fact that they had been together for years, not weeks.

“Right here we are, Daniel, I’ll just get you to have a seat there and we’ll get that cast off in no time.” The man said as he rushed around the room, grabbing all the bits and pieces he was going to need. “Right now, pop your arm up on this pad here.”

The intimidating saw with its circular blade was placed beside the cast along with a pair of large, dangerous looking scissors and a metal contraption that looked like something out of a saw movie.

“Right then, it’s the left arm cast coming off today?” the man asked Dan.

“Yeah, I was told that I would have to keep the one on my leg for a little longer.” Dan said.

“Quite right, that was a much more complicated break from what I’ve read.” The man said. “It’ll be a bit of relief to get the use of your arm back, though.

“Definitely.” Dan said, as he wriggled the fingers poking out the end of the cast.

“I’ll give you a little booklet that has a list of exercises for you to try because your arm will be weak after spending so long being immobilised.” The man informed Dan. “I would also recommend that you invest in a good moisturiser as your arm has been kept completely dry for weeks and your skin might be dry and itchy.”

“Ew.” Dan muttered as he imagined the cast coming off and a wave of dry skin coming off his arm.

“Don’t worry, it won't be nearly as bad as your leg.” The man said in a tone that Dan assumed was supposed to be reassuring. It wasn’t reassuring in the slightest.

The blade whirred to life sounding louder than Dan thought it should, and if Dan’s free hand found its way into Phil’s then that was just something that they would conveniently forget to mention later on. Fortunately he had nothing to worry about, the blade went nowhere near his skin, and instead it just cut the tough outer layer, revealing the softer fabric on the inside.

“Wait that’s it?” Dan asked.

“Yes, we don’t need the saw anymore, I’ll use these scissors to cut the ends of the cast, and then I’ll use this,” he waved the scary metal contraption in the air, “to separate everything. Then you’ll have your arm back.”

It didn’t take as long as Dan thought it would for his arm to be freed and in no time at all he was holding it up in front of his face, it was so much lighter without the bulky cast weighing it down. He removed his hand from Phil’s to touch his arm, it was drier than usual which was irritating.

“Don’t worry, I have some moisturiser that you can use.” Phil muttered quietly to him.

“I don’t know if I want my cast off my leg.” Dan groaned.

They booked an appointment for Dan’s leg cast to come off, he still had a while before it was due but the way their schedules were it was best to plan things well in advance. Once that was done, Dan was told to go easy on his arm for a while and that he would get another crutch once his strength was built up enough. Once that was done, they found themselves slowly wandering back down the corridor back towards where their taxi was hopefully waiting.

“You’re going to have a cool scar.” Phil said as he glanced down at the cast on Dan’s leg.

“I keep forgetting that I had actual surgery on my leg, it’s going to be weird to see the scar.” Dan admitted.

“You can tell people that you have a bionic leg now.” Phil suggested.

“Of course that’s what you would think of.” Dan smirked. “Although, I guess I do have metal in it.”

“We’re going to get stopped at every airport now, thanks Dan.” Phil smirked.

“We just have to make sure that we leave earlier from now on.” Dan shrugged.

“Oh that’s rich coming from you.” Phil snorted. “You're the one who tried to film a video before leaving for the airport, making us nearly too late to get through the gate.”

“Nearly being the key word there.” Dan said. “Anyways it wasn’t my fault, it was my deodorant’s.”

“No, you were drunk and sprayed deodorant in your eye, even if you hadn’t done that, you were still running late just from the filming.” Phil corrected.

“Lies.” Dan said. “Listen I have a broken leg, you can't just drag me like this, it’s just cruel and unfair.”

“How many times are you going to play the ‘I have broken bones’ card?” Phil asked in exasperation.

“Until the cast comes off my leg, and then maybe still a little longer after that.” Dan said, pretending to actually think about it for a moment.

“Shut up.” Phil laughed.

Dan snickered at him, knowing that if they weren’t walking then Phil would have probably shoved his shoulder. There was a comfortable silence between them and Dan loved it, he loved all the time he spent with Phil. From the conversations that interested the two of them all the way to the silences that permeated the room but were never overpowering or unbearable. They really were a perfect match, in Dan’s opinion.

The taxi ride back home was comfortable. It pretty much summed up their lives; comfortable. They were comfortable in their relationship, their friendships, they slotted into each other’s lives perfectly as though they were always meant to be there.

In fact, they had spent a few days laughing over the fact that they could have been dating each other for years if they had only removed their heads from their asses and noticed what was right in front of them. Their friends, family, and viewers had noticed the chemistry and attraction long before they had. They were two of the most shipped YouTubers and yet they hadn’t even noticed it until recently. They had to laugh about it though, otherwise they would have ended up feeling too much regret over the time they had lost.

“Home sweet home.” Dan announced as Phil paid the taxi driver and helped him out of the vehicle.

“I guess now that you don’t have that cast on your arm you’ll be a lot more independent with things.” Phil said once they were comfortably sitting – or rather, slouching – on the sofa.

“Hm, you would think that, wouldn’t you?” Dan asked wryly, turning to smirk at his boyfriend. “However, it just so happens that this hand is still incredibly weak.”

“Is that so?” Phil asked, arching an eyebrow.

“It is, sadly, it means that I might need even more help, if anything.” Dan grinned.

“ _More_ help, I’m sure that could be arranged.” Phil said. “What sort of help are we thinking?”

“Well, now that my arm is fragile and bare, at the mercy of this cruel world then a fall would be very bad. Especially a fall out of my bed.” Dan said.

“Definitely, you could risk re-breaking it. We don’t want that.” Phil said with a smirk in Dan’s direction that made his heart start to race. “It would be more convenient if there was just someone who was willing to make sure you don’t fall out of your bed during the night.”

“Where would I find someone that brave and strong?” Dan asked rhetorically.

“I wonder?”

“It’s not only that, I'm at a higher risk of falling in the shower now, too.” Dan said with a sigh of faux sadness.

“Yes, we all know that a man’s ability to balance in a shower is tied to the plaster cast on his arm.” Phil said with a solemn nod.

“I need someone to stabilise me.” Dan sighed.

“Just to be clear, you are asking me to shower with you and sleep in your bed, right?” Phil asked.

“Jesus Christ, Phil, you're such a dweeb.” Dan laughed.

“Is that a no?” Phil asked, looking worried.

“How do you even live?” Dan laughed. “That’s exactly what I was asking you.”

“I just wanted to make sure!” Phil defended himself. “It would have been a little bit awkward if you had meant something different and then all of a sudden I decided to start stripping and climbing in the shower with you.”

Dan’s face went slightly pink and he gaped at Phil, his mind occupied with thoughts of Phil stripping. It’s not like he hadn’t seen Phil naked before but somehow just the thought of him purposefully stripping was enough to short circuit Dan’s brain.

“What?” Phil asked, feeling slightly unnerved by the staring.

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” Dan said quickly.

“Come on, tell me.” Phil insisted, poking Dan’s dimple. “Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tel-”

“Fine! I swear to god you act like you're five sometimes.” Dan snorted.

“I know, but I don’t care. Now come on, tell me.”

“Fine, alright, you win. I was thinking about you stripping.” Dan admitted.

“Really?” Phil asked. “Huh.”

“Was that a ‘good huh’ or a ‘bad huh’?” Dan asked.

“That was a ‘I’m going to have to keep that in mind huh’.” Phil smirked.

Dan laughed and shoved his shoulder.

“I can't believe you, one minute you're acting all innocent and wondering whether I am actually asking you to shower with me and permanently share my bed and then the next minute you're insinuating that you're going to strip for me at some point. Fuck me, you’re so hard to keep up with, I swear all our viewers who call you a cute cinnamon bun are deluded. You're the epitome of teenage hormones.” Dan laughed.

“Anyway, I’m only going to do that on one condition.” Phil said.

“What?” Dan asked warily.

“You have to give up The Deal.” Phil smirked.

“What? No way, that’s cheating, it’s against the rules.” Dan protested.

“Nope, there was no such rule that said I couldn’t do this.” Phil said smugly.

“Damn it, you already know I’m going to agree.”

“Wow, I never thought I’d see the day where you willingly dropped The Deal.” Phil said with a grin.

“Shut up, you literal Spork, it’s your fault.” Dan muttered but he was still smiling.

“I still can't believe this.” Phil murmured. “We’re actually dating, you're actually my boyfriend.”

“If it helps, I can't believe it either.” Dan said. “Sometimes I’m actually glad that I got hurt during that video, it sure helped speed things along.”

“Well, that and my mum.” Phil agreed.

“We should just agree that we are hopeless and if we were just left to it we wouldn’t have figured out what the hell we were feeling for another ten years probably.” Dan said.

“We should not be classed as adults.” Phil agreed, pulling Dan closer to him.

It was nice. They had spent so long dancing around each other and going through phases of wishing they could say something about their feelings and then not wanting to say something out of fear of ruining their relationship, so it really was just nice for Dan to be able to look at Phil and think ‘damn, that’s my boyfriend’ there was nothing more satisfying.

They still had so much ahead of them though. Phil was planning on telling his mum the next time they went to visit her, and then there was Phil’s brother to tell, although knowing Martyn, he had probably been plotting and scheming with Phil’s mum for years. Dan needed to tell his family who, if they were as observant as Phil’s family, probably also had a vague idea. Then there would be their closest friends. Finally their viewers.

There was still so much to do and so many people to tell, there would be questions for the longest time and Dan and Phil were both prepared for the high possibility that a group of people would reject them, that didn’t matter though, because if people wanted to unsubscribe because they came out then they were more than welcome to. Dan and Phil didn’t want those sorts of people to subscribe anyway.

They were happy and that was all that mattered. Everything and everyone else could wait, they didn’t care about the drama or speculation or even the people who would say that they were lying and had been together for years. No, they only cared about each other and the fact that they were hopelessly in love and no one was going to be able to say anything that would change that for them.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow what a journey, i cant believe its over, and ngl im feeling a little emotional rn. 
> 
> i just wanted to say thank you so much from the bottom of my heart to everyone out there who has read, commented and/or given kudos on this fic. its been so much fun and i have absolutely adored reading your responses, you all made my day <3 and you even managed to get this fic nominated for best ao3 award for the phanfic awards 2016!?!? you guys are seriously the best, most supportive, wonderful readers that any aspiring author could ever dream of having <3 xxx
> 
> everything has to come to an end though and unfortunately its time for missing pieces to follow that rule, fear not though as i will be back tomorrow (Tues 7th Feb) with an entirely new Dan/Phil fic. it was going to be up today but im too tired to finish the first chapter and i really need sleep, tomorrow for sure though!
> 
> come cry with me @philscurls (new url) on tumblr, we can mourn the loss of this fic together.
> 
> [Buy Me a Coffee](https://ko-fi.com/A108414A)


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